Butterfly
by RaeAnne
Summary: The SVU investigate into the deeds of serial rapist murderer and find it reflects the “Jack of all Trades” murderer. They call in the FBI’s VCTF. Summary terrible, Profiler SVU crossover. EPILOGUE UP (Story Complete)
1. Peace Unfound

Title: Butterfly

Author: RaeAnne

Rating: PG-13 (for themes of an adult nature)

Feedback: please!

Spoilers: Not really… I don't think, but I'm not positive

**NEW NOTE 4/27/05: ALL LYRICS IN THIS STORY HAVE BEEN REMOVED (see main ff page for reason) thanks RaeAnne**

Authors Note: Hey, this is my first SVU fic and first Profiler fic, so please be kind. I love the shows so much and have enjoyed so many wonder fic that it's inspired this. What every this is, lol. I use songs a few times through out here, I'm sorry if it gets bothersome, it you thinks its too much drop me a line and I'll try to cut back, it's just I took a lot of inspiration from them. Anyway now that I've bored you stiff with my long note here I hope I don't with my story! Please leave a review, it's greatly appreciated! Thanks RaeAnne

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Law and Order nor their spin offs (SVU, CI) nor do I own Profiler. All characters and such copyrights belong to their respective owners of which I'm not. This is a source of entertainment done for my pleasure and for fellow fans of these shows; I am not seeking or collecting profit from this venture. The songs used again are for entertainment and are not my own. Butterfly is done by Delta Goodrem, Someday by NickelBack, First Cut Is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow and Every Breath You Take is by Sting. No infringement on these rights is intended.

**Butterfly**

_By RaeAnne_

**Chapter 1:**

**Peace Unfound**

Quite a rare occurrence, empty desks, full trash cans, dirty floors Munch and Fin lost in a deep sleep in the crib at the Special Victims Unit precinct. 3:05 am in New York. While the busy movement continues somewhere beyond here, while across town crimes go on here there is a moment of quite, not peace, that will have to come another day, but the quiet they will accept thankfully.

Emptiness dirty dishes in the sink, out dated milk in the fridge, empty week old take out containers on the table, Elliot in a tangle of sheets on the floor where his bed used to be. Exhaustion bringing sleep, turmoil causing no rest. Escape from the work but no relief to be found in a house filled only with whispers of memories.

Noise, late night talk show on TV, a bottle of wine on the table, a gun on the floor, Olivia pursing the elusive sleep cycle but finding an alcohol induced haze. Moments of time whirling in the mind, ever present never fading always there terrifying images never fleeting.

Each detective wrought with conflicting emotions, each at a stand still, trying to block the past unwilling to face the present and unsure of tomorrow. They were forced to realize their own mortality a week ago, the memory of that burned forever into their concisions. They try to escape, try to move on. For three it would be a slightly easier battle but for the forth death would be the only release. But one thing in all the pictures of this night will always ring true… for each of them their worst nightmare is coming true… and they don't even need to close their eyes.

**One Week Before**

"Elliot I can't do this!" Kathy screamed as she slammed the suit case lid shut.

"Honey don't do this…please!" Elliot pleaded reaching out to take her arm.

"Don't touch me!" he spat her skin turning icy under his hand.

"I have had all that I am willing to take from you! There is nothing you can do to stop me!" she froze him with her glare as she moved through the door of their room and started down the stairs.

"Kids lets go!" she called moving briskly down the worn the steps.

"I am going to my mothers… you will get the divorce papers with in the week, until then don't contact us!" she glared.

Elliot unable to fully realize what was going on only stared blankly. The twins and Kathleen followed their mother silently fear making them speechless. Maureen hesitated on the top step and looked at her father sadness filling her eyes.

"I'm sorry Daddy," she whispered rushing over to him hiding her head into his chest. Elliot felt a dam break inside of him and he embraced her fiercely.

"It's okay honey… just take care of your brother and sisters okay…" he whispered into her hair the lump in his throat allowing no more.

"Maureen, hurry up!" Kathy's voice came. Maureen pulled away despite Elliot's resistance.

"I love you Dad," she whispered before she started down the stairs.

"I love you too…" he whispered feeling his heart ache. She only looked back once and when she did Elliot felt his heart rip beyond repair.

Meanwhile on the other side of town Olivia was just entering the SVU precinct carrying two Styrofoam cups of coffee. "Morning Munch," she smiled as she took a sip from one cup as she sat behind her desk before placing the other cup on Elliot's desk across from her.

"And what a fine morning it is," he replied dryly as he came down the steps from the upper floor.

"Do we have any new information on the Dawson case?" she asked retrieving said file from her bag, flipping it open.

"No, but Huang is supposed to be coming by later to day with some new insight. He just got back from that meeting in Atlanta with that profiler," he commented sitting in his chair propping his feet on the edge of his desk. She nodded.

"Hey Liv, have you heard from Elliot yet?" Fin asked as he came in from the file room. Olivia didn't look up as she answered.

"No, he's probably got some project the twins sprung on him this morning and he's trying to get them off without a F," she laughed remembering the early morning helping hand she had given in the twins joint science project when Kathy had been out of town.

"Well I don't care if he's trying to make time travel relevant or volcanoes erupt, he better get in her soon! I just got a call from Anita Van Buren, seems her detectives have a possible match for our Jeremy Dawson, I want you and Elliot to head over there the second he gets in!" the Captain Donald Cragen barked as he emerged from his office.

"Are they sure it's him?" she asked getting excited.

"No, and frankly from the sounds of it I doubt it is, but it's worth a shot, we have little leads at the moment." He said solemnly. She agreed

Ten minutes passed and still no Elliot. "Olivia head over, we can't keep them waiting all day. John, Fin, head over to the crime scene, I'll deal with Elliot when he gets here," the captain grimaced.

"Got it," Fin said grabbing his leather coat John following. Olivia hesitated, it wasn't like her partner to do this, to be this late and not even call. She worried, she didn't want to but she did, there had been trouble brewing between Elliot and Kathy, that much she could get out of him, but other then his unusual tense manner she couldn't figure out what was going on.

"I'll send him over when he gets here," Cragen said seemingly reading her thoughts. He knew that this guy more then any of the others was getting to her.

"No rush, I can handle him," she said with a small grin.

"I know you can," he nodded. She grabbed her jacket and was out the door.

Cragen looked around his empty squad room and sighed, it was going to be a long day of that he was sure. Not five minutes after the other detectives left an unshaven dazed Elliot entered Cragen's office. "She left me…" he said with a matter of fact tone.

"What?" Cragen asked irritation springing as his overly late detective burst into his office. But the moment he saw the pained face and the statement registered he knew.

"Kathy… she took the kids and left." Elliot said with a dry sarcastic laugh as he sunk into a chair.

"Elliot I'm sorry," Cragen said hand hesitating on the handle of the drawer that housed his scotch, of which he never touched but on occasion his detectives did, but then rethought his idea and thought better of it, alcohol was not what he needed.

"She just left…I…I don't know what to do…" Elliot moaned gravely.

"It's going to be okay…" Cragen tried unsure what to say.

"Is it?" Elliot pushed eyes fiery. Cragen stared silent, unsure of the answer. Elliot's head went into his hands with doubt filling him.

Olivia entered the busy precinct moving by a few officers she knew, saying a few hello's before emerging at Lieutenant Van Buren's office. "Detective Benson, we think we may have your perp in custody. Detective Briscoe and Green did the pick up," the lieutenant spoke when Olivia arrived in the door way.

"How did you find him? My captain was a little vague on the details," Olivia asked as she walked with Anita towards the interrogation room.

"He was in the process of rapping a thirteen year old girl… wealthy family, very methodical in his actions, the girl suffered a server mental breakdown along with physical injures and we haven't been able to speak to her yet. Lennie and Ed can fill you in on anything else," she said as she left her in the viewing room with her two lead detectives.

"Thanks," Olivia said before stepping to the window.

"Hey Olivia, where's Elliot?" Lennie asked.

"Good question, he hadn't shown up for work when I left. But here's a question for you…who is that?" she asked pointing to the man sitting at the table in the stark questioning room.

"He isn't Dawson?" Edward Green asked. She shook her head heart falling. She had so wished it could be so simple, that her uneasiness would disappear with the capture of this man, but with once look she knew that this wouldn't be the case.

"Are you sure?" Lennie asked.

"Yes, the guy we are looking for is tall late thirties, blond, medium build… the hair doesn't matter so much as that tattoo on his forearm, our guy is clean shaven…perfectly harmless looking," she sighed her hand on her forehead.

"I'm sorry for dragging you here…we thought we had him," Green said.

She shook her head, "It's all right, the MO was right, and the placing was right…"she was growing agitated and was angry with herself for letting this case get to her.

"Is he still active you think? What we have heard so far is he hasn't made a move in over three weeks…" Lennie shrugged.

"It doesn't matter, as long as he is out there the city isn't safe," Olivia said with all the commitment she could muster.

"I hate to burst your bubble Benson but even when Dawson is gone New York is still gonna be anything but safe!" Lennie chuckled. Olivia snapped her head away from the suspect to Lennie,

"Safe maybe not, but safer it will be once he's off the streets!" she glared throwing open the door and walking out… straight out, out of the building and onto the street.

Olivia pulled out her cell phone and called the station to inform of the bad ID before climbing into the squad car. She leaned against the car trying to regulate her breathing and tame her anger. She shouldn't be so upset with Briscoe or Green but they had no idea what this guy was like. She least of all wanted to the think about it either, but the picture of the girls raped and murdered by the man were all she could see… the brutal killing… the way in which he got close, playing upon their deepest desirers in ways that only women dreamed of… a man so seemingly safe, but so mortality dangerous. Cragen answered the phone took her statement and hung up without so much as a word about Elliot.

"Well that was a bust!" she said as she walked into the squad room where Fin and Munch were seated. They said nothing.

"Is everything okay? Have we heard from Elliot yet?" she said concern increasing. "Kathy left me," Elliot said coming up behind her. She jumped not expecting it.

"What?" she choked.

"This morning," he said evenly.

"I am so sorry…" she said hurting for her partner. He just nodded his head. Still the room remained quiet.

"You got a package," Fin said handing her a small brown box. She took it as she sat and examined it. Her name was clearly written but there was no return address… and more cursorily it had no post mark.

"Thanks… I wasn't excepting anything..." she pondered. She pulled the brown packing tape away from the box and carefully pulled back the flaps of the cardboard box. There was a strange smell emitting from the box.

"Sure isn't new perfume!" Munch exclaimed though the smell did spark his interest. There was white tissue paper on the top which she pulled away. She screamed in disbelief at what she found.

"What is it?" Elliot was at her side instantly. She felt her pulse pound as she silently with shaky hands handed him the box. Elliot shrunk away at what he saw.

Inside the box was a human hand…it had been severed for a while because it was a bluish color and very little blood had soaked the surrounding tissue. Fin and Munch looked at it without moving it for fear of ruining any possible evidence.

"What is that laying on top of it?" Fin asked lifting an object off the hand with a tip of pen.

"It appears to be a rare Blue Diamond Butterfly… a bad specimen of one... but one none the less." Munch said in disgust.

"A butterfly?" Olivia said in confusion.

"There is a piece of paper under the hand…" Elliot exclaimed.

"How are we going to get it out?" Fin asked.

"Well if we had some tweezers we could lift the hand up and use them to grab it…" Munch said.

"Or I could just grab it…" Olivia said slipping a gloved hand under the hand and bringing the partly soaked paper out.

"Or you could do that," Elliot said. She gave him a look and carefully unfolded the paper.

_Olivia,_

_I hope you like your gift! The butterfly I mean… I know how much you like them. This is just the first in many I plan to get you! As for the hand consider it a bonus. The body you'll never find, but good luck in the hunt though. I've been quiet for a while, but I've been watching you and will make my more soon! Until then my sweet, keep this butterfly as my token of love_

_Jeremy Dawson_

Olivia was shaking as she finished reading. She had never been in a position like this before. Elliot swore under his breath.

"Olivia he's just a sick SOB, he won't get with in 5 miles of you I swear to you that!" Elliot clenched his fists in an anger he had not felt before. His whole body shook with anger towards the man that dared threaten his partner.

"I don't understand… why me? I mean I have no idea who this man is… why would he target me?" Olivia declared.

"Because you are a woman in authority… he knows you from somewhere… probably someone from your past… school maybe, or the relative of a person you put away…" a voice said. They turned from the box to find George Huang standing in the room.

"How do you know this?" Elliot demanded.

"I just got back from Atlanta where I met with the head profiler for the FBI's VCTF, she has a very personal case that is of a similar nature as this," George said cryptically.

"That makes no sense! We had no idea what nature this case was expect it was of the serial murder rape kind!" Elliot said not trying to hide the distaste.

"I had an inclination that it possibly had a very real personal connection of some kind, though I had no idea who that person was. You see this Jeremy Dawson… which I doubt is his real name. Anyway he picks victims with some sort of authority, he needs to dominate, the reason why he rapes, not only kills them. That's the nature of rape, not the sex but the dominance. He was made to submit somehow to female authority which took advantage of him and he now feels he has to pay back. He takes tokens from his victims, strange things, like finger nail clippings… locks of hair, in return he gives something… like a butterfly. He's only recently started taking body parts… what connection he has to you I have no idea. But this man's pattern seems to fit that of the profiler's at the VCTF, if so then these people are from your past, most likely from either so far back or from such small parts in your past that you would hardly remember. In once instance an elderly hobby toy maker was killed because he once made a toy for her. I fear we are possibly dealing with a copy cat of the "Jack of All Trades" murder," George finished.

"As helpful as that is George how do we catch him?" Cragen asked coming from his open office doorway.

"I don't know, I don't know how to even tell you who is next! The original "Jack" is still yet to be caught, and he is being pursued by one of the FBI's most elite task force," George said.

"Well that's helpful! We have a maniac lose in New York and you're saying that he's basically not going to be caught!" Fin gritted his teeth.

"That's not what I am saying! He's going to be hard, not impossible and maniac he's not. Demented yes but everything he does is methodical and well planned, he's probably educated, he isn't picking his victims in any special fashion expect they are known by the object of obsession, in this case, Olivia, that makes him dangerous, he doesn't have a type, so the list is immense, how could Olivia ever remember everyone she ever came into contact with? It's practically impossible!" George said shaking his head. Olivia felt her stomach twist and she shrank into her chair.

"How did this happen? We went from our standard, albeit it gruesome rape murder case to some obsessive whacked out psycho who is after me?" Olivia cried. The room fell silent.

"Olivia…" Elliot started. "Elliot…" she said matching what she thought to be a patronizing tone.

"I suggest that you call the FBI and join forces with the VCTF, they have a team that specializes in this," George offered to Cragen.

"With all do respect to the FBI what in hell is the VCTF?" Cragen asked. George gave a half smile.

"It's the Violent Crimes Task Force, headed by Special Agent in Charge Bailey Malone. They have been instrumental in the formation of the criminal profiling movement. Their profiler is just outstanding. They could be a great deal of help in catching a copy cat such as this," George said. Cragen didn't like the mention of an FBI headed investigation at all and that thought of turning over his case was angering.

"I don't think we need to call in the feds we can handle this, if anything we could collaborate with the Major Case squad, at least we would still be staying with in the NYPD, the New York Police Department," Fin said folding his arms.

"Yes you could… but I strongly recommend you call in the VCTF, not that you can't handle it. It's not that at all, it's just I fear that the real Jack might have more to do with this then just the inspiration. I understand that you want to keep this local, but I assure you that VCTF would be more then willing to work together, not take over this case, especially since the focus of this is man is a NYPD detective," George tried to reassure.

"Thank you for your suggestion Huang, we'll keep it in mind," Cragen said bitterly before picking up the phone to call for the CSU for the hand.

**6 Days Before**

1:30 am, Olivia laid on the couch in her small apartment an empty wine bottle rolled some where beneath her, the muted late late night show on the TV. She tried to sleep but every time she closed her eyes she saw the hand in the box, and heard Georges words echoing throughout her mind and it was terrifying her, she could almost feel what the man's hands would feel like on her and it made her shiver. She reached for the bottle that was deep under the couch. She brought it back and found it empty. Sure the captain had offered her a watch detail, and Elliot had offered to spend the night, Munch and Fin too, but there was no way she would show weakness! Out of control that is what her life was, she was terrified and that wasn't something she allowed herself to be. She couldn't because she couldn't risk the chance of becoming vulnerable. She felt tears sting her eyes then the warm sticky wetness as the dam broke and they started to fall. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was truly the knowledge that there out there was a man killing people she couldn't remember….either way she determined being drunk had it's advantages. She tuned out the banging she might other wise suspect if sober coming from outside her window and stumbled toward the bed leaving her empty wine bottle discarded on the table, her clothes in a trail towards to the bedroom and her gun in it's holster on the side table.

"Keep calling!" Cragen barked as a groggy Munch shouldered the receiver.

"How long have we had the note?" Fin asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and put on his jacket.

"10 minutes, the boy brought it in. I've got Munch calling Olivia now, but he's getting a busy signal and Elliot isn't answering either! I've got units responding but I'm on my over there now," Cragen said as Munch hung up the phone.

"I'm coming too, the phone must be off the hook.

"Let's go then!" Cragen said a little bit of fear creeping in. What if he was all ready there with Olivia?

The little boy about 6 came pounding on the door a manila envelope in hand. Fin, Munch and Cragen had been working on trying to cross reference any connection between the victims and Olivia but had dozed for a few minutes. Elliot had been sent home to figure out what do about Kathy and had dropped off Olivia on his way. The squad room was now empty say for the empty envelope and its contents, another rare butterfly and a note. This time it read:

Olivia,

I see that you are trying to connect the dots. I'm afraid you won't. At least not till I want you to. I will visit you tonight, you know red wine really doesn't got with potato chips, nor does the late show seems like proper viewing for a woman as educated as yourself. I will meet you in the depths of your soul tonight, but don't worry the first cut is always the deepest.

Jeremy

The fire escape was easy enough to climb and offered a nice view. There he gained his entranced. He carefully shimmied the window open and slipped in, carefully to keep an eye on every moment so not to leave any trace of his entrance. Just as he thought it would be. He breathed deep taking in the scent of her. He relished it. He spotted her gun as well as the bottle under the sofa and the opened bag of chips on the table. He shook his head in disgust, how does a woman of her caliber sink this low. Aww, the real prize awaits, he walks the short distance to the bedroom door and turns the handle quietly letting himself in. He watches her, her chest moving with her every breath, he sits in a chair and just watches, she drank herself to sleep he notes with a shake of the head. He pulled out the crimson colored butterfly from his pocket and laid it on the pillow next to her camisole and panty clad form.

He left the bedroom and laid his note on the table as he heard the sirens nearing. Aww such fools, he thinks with a silent laugh. He leaves through the front door and disappears into the night.

Cragen, Munch and Fin raced to her apartment building fear escalading siren blaring. "What is going on?" an elderly woman shrieked as a dozen police officers surrounded the apartment building guns pulled and lights making it look like day light in the middle of the night.

"Its okay ma'am, please wait on the other side of the street," Fin said moving past her.

"We have the building surrounded Captain he hasn't left the building since we've got here, but we've only been here about 3 minutes," a patrol officer said to Cragen as they started in the building.

"Fine, keep an eye we're going up…" Cragen said over riding the buzz-in system.

"On my count…" Cragen whispered after discovering the door locked. They didn't want to tip off the assailant if at all possible. "1...2…3!" Cragen said voice hushed. Fin kicked in the door as Munch and Cragen entered guns drawn.

"Police!" Munch called. The apartment was empty only the window was open, the yellow light of the street lamps along with the chilly New York breeze swept through.

"Olivia!" Cragen called as he moved towards the bedroom with almost certainty that there wasn't anyone there, while Fin and John checked the rest of the apartment.

"Olivia!" Cragen cried as he saw her sprawled on the bed, unsure if she was sleeping or worse.

"We've got another note Captain…" Fin said as he and Munch entered but fell silent as they saw Cragen standing over Olivia.

"She's fine, just sleeping…. "Cragen said shaking his head.

"My guess that it is with the aide of that wine bottle in the living room…" Munch said grimly.

"He was here though…" Cragen said lifting up the butterfly with a tip of a pen. "Let's get her up and to the hospital. I want her checked out," he said lips tight.

"Olivia… wake up… Olivia!" Munch said shaking her arm gently. She moaned quietly not completely awake yet.

"What happened?" demanded a strong voice coming through the bedroom door. "We don't know, when did you get here?" Munch asked as Elliot went to the other side of the bed.

"As soon as I heard…I got a call at the hotel…" he said looking over the partly awake Olivia.

"What are you doing here?" she said sitting up pulling a sheet with her. She was disorientated, but waking up gradually.

"You don't remember? Olivia… was there anyone in here with you any time tonight?" Cragen asked amidst a horde of CSU investigators.

"No! What are all these men doing in my apartment?" she cried angrily.

"Olivia… Dawson was in here tonight… he came in the window," Cragen said shortly.

"He what?" she breathed mind dizzy.

"We got a note at the station that he was coming to visit you… Olivia we need to take you to the hospital…"

She interrupted him, "What for I'm fine!" She glared pushing her self from the bed, still wrapped in a sheet.

"Just routine Olivia, we can't take any chances…" Elliot said his temper cooling from his outburst at the thought of her being raped … or worse.

"Fine…" she said as she saw the worry and concern in her friend's eyes.

"Thank you, Elliot will you take her; we don't need any more attention drawn to this. That's what he wants…" Cragen said angrily.

"Yeah," Elliot nodded.

"Can I at least get dressed?" she asked.

"Yeah, go ahead," Cragen answered.

"Have the bottle sent down to the lab," George Haung said as he looked around the mostly empty apartment.

"Why?" Fin asked.

"Well my guess is that he's been in here before. He's watched her I think. He showed disappointment in her choice of wine and chips and television show… he knows that she makes a habit of it. I wouldn't be surprised to find the wine tampered with," he said. Cragen agreed and had the CSU bag it.

Elliot and Olivia sat in an examining room silence the only thing passing between them; it had been like that all the way from the apartment. Neither one knew what to say or how to say it.

"Knock, knock," a smiling doctor came through the curtain. "Well Mrs. Stabler you seem perfectly fine… you have a hang over but other then that you should be right as rain by morning," the middle aged woman physician said with out a pause. "I'll get you something for the head ache and then you can go, you should take better care of your wife Mr. Stabler, no more partying understand?" she smiled and was out the curtain before either the detectives could correct or comment. Elliot just sat mouth open in shock and Olivia tried to hide the smile but only giggled instead.

"I don't know which to be more upset about… the fact that she scolded me like my mother or got our names wrong..." Elliot laughed.

"I know," Olivia smiled. "Why do we get that so often…? I mean why do they see two detectives together male and female and automatically assume!" she said with a sigh.

"Well she didn't know we were NYPD for one thing, I thought it best to leave it as civilians," Elliot leaned his head on this weary elbows that propped themselves on the hospital bed.

"I see…" she said feeling the heavy weight of what had happened tonight return, the escape they had found by the relief of laughter had been short, but savored.

_Dearest Olivia,_

_Aw, I watched you tonight. I stood over you and you looked so sweet, and tasted just as good. You may not know who I am, but you will. You know my name and you know that it is you I am after. Try and catch me… I enjoy a good chase. For now _

_Jeremy _

The note sat in the lab along with the others. No clues to be found that would point to author. Printed on a laser printer with common ink sold in every store across the world, no fingerprints, trace amounts of powder from examining gloves. That was it. The wine had been tampered with, they found a common date rape drug residue in the bottle and in the cork, they had determined that Dawson had used a syringe to injected the drug into the bottle, leaving the trail virtual undetectable.

3 Days Before

Olivia took three days off, not by choice but rather by force. She sat in her apartment on the last day silent salty tears trickling down her cheeks. Her stomach twisted in knots and she pressed herself into her knees. Photos of her nanny and other victims scattered around her. She felt a sob well in her throat. It was her fault, she was the reason these people were dead. She was the cause, the one who was born of a mistake, now by mistake these people were dead. In all of her years as a NYPD officer she had never been more responsible for the deaths of people then now.

The SVU had received the envelopes containing the pictures of the body that was missing the hand. The ID took only moments by Olivia, her nanny, Mrs. Elsa Mannor 78 at time of death. Olivia hadn't thought about her in years. She should have known it was her, from the ring on the hand. The ring on white gold with the 3 birthstones, each representing Elsa's lost loved ones, her husband, and her two children who had passed on in a terrible car accident. He chose to reveal his victims and their connection to Olivia at the same time. Nail clippings from her high school bully. The hair of the beautician who gave Olivia her first hair cut. Ten victims over the past two months, some even without sexual overtones had now been solved. Murders they didn't even know about were now accounted for. All connected by Olivia. The press was getting wind and was having a field day. Thankfully the connection between this murderer and the "Jack of All Trades" murderer had yet to be made. The note with the pictures was yet another addressed to Olivia but this time simply said "enjoy". That is the day Cragen sent Olivia home with two officers to watch her apartment, even with her protests. She has yet to leave.

"Who is it?" Olivia answered her buzzer. "It's Elliot," came the voice. "Come on," she said buzzing him in.

"Hey," he said when she opened the door.

"Hey yourself," she said with a small smile letting him pass through the door.

"How are you holding up?" he asked as she reclaimed her spot on the sofa.

"Okay, how are you guys coming with leads?" she asked waving him to a chair.

"No where, this guy hasn't made a move since…" he hesitated unsure if he should mention the entrance.

"He came in here?" she finished for him.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Well I've got these windows taken care of as you can see," she said with a smirk at her now bared windows courtesy Donald Cragen. "How are you?" she asked. He shook his head and settled into his chair.

"Kathy has sent the papers, I haven't seen my kids, my attorney says my chances of seeing them before next month is slim," he said clenching his fists.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's not your fault. It's been a long time coming I'm afraid. She could never handle me being a cop. I mean she tried, but the job was just too much for her. Maureen, the only one I've talked to, thinks Kathy might have been having an affair…." He said releasing his now redden hands.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"What do I think? Ha, I don't know what to think! I mean it's just insane! Kathy left me, you are being stalked by some lunatic and in both situations I can do nothing about!" he said angrily.

"I'm sorry," she said voice hushed.

"It's anything but your fault," he assured. Silence followed for a few minutes, but not an awkward one. With them when they said nothing at all volumes were written on another level.

"Cragen is calling the VCTF… he's putting the call in tomorrow," Elliot said slowly breaking the silence.

"So your reason for coming is out now," she said.

"Olivia…" he trailed.

"No, its okay, if he wants to do that it's his choice. I don't want the feds involved with this and he knows it! Elliot you have no idea how out of control I feel!" she said a small tremor moving through her voice.

"Olivia I'm sorry you have to go through this…" he murmured softly.

"Elliot as much as I want to handle this internally, I want this sick twisted, disgusting…" words failed her as anger choked her.

"It's okay," he whispered sinking to his knees in front on her.

"It's not… but _that_ is okay…" she said standing suddenly wiping fiercely at the tears she found forming in her eyes.

"I think you should go…" she said walking towards the door.

"Olivia did I do something?" he asked.

"No…I will see you in the morning," she said managing a small smile. "All right, good night," he said gruffly then left.

2 Days Before

"Thank you Agent Malone, we will be expecting you….Yes we will have the files ready…Yes… uh huh…. Right… bye" Cragen hung up the phone as his detectives stood around listening. "They will be here the day after tomorrow. Get the files ready… and let's clean up the squad room a bit shall we. It looks like a pig sty!" he said before shooing them out of the office. He dealt with the stalking of his detectives before… Olivia even, but this was different on so many other levels, the threat was more real somehow. With his door closed he sat his desk head in his hands. One more day to make it through… he thought resisting the urge to open that drawer and make the world go away.

Present Time

"No…no…stop….please…don't!" Olivia whispered as she clawed at the man who held her down. "Please don't…" she moaned as the man pressed her hard into the ground. "No!" she screamed sitting up. She looked around; drenched in sweat she realized it was a nightmare. She felt her heart pound and tipped toed to the window and looked out, the patrol car parked across the street was a welcome site. She picked up her gun, flicked off the TV and headed for her bedroom.


	2. Welcome To New York

**Title:** Welcome to New York

**DISCLAIMER:** see chapter one.

**Authors Note:** Hey :-) Wow, I am so thrilled (and humbled) and the awesome feedback!! Thanks so so much! Here is chapter two, and three is almost ready…. Though I don't know if I will be able to get it up as soon as I did this one. Anyway thank you so much for the feedback!!!!!

Chapter 2:

Welcome To New York 

            Sam sat on the VCTF plane lost in her own thoughts. The possibility of Jack resurfacing or an even a copy cat was a plague she had not been able to find release from since the first visit from the Special Victims Unit psychiatrist. It had been a fear ever since the move back to the VCTF. That choice hadn't been made without much debate, a choice she thought she wouldn't again have to make, but her gift she knew she had a duty to use to help the helpless.

            She felt a shiver move down her spine and she shifted to look out the window.

 "Are you okay Sam?" Bailey's strong voice filled her ears as his hand came down on her shoulder. 

"Yeah, I was just thinking," she said tucking a blond hair behind her ear.

"We'll be landing in New York in twenty or so minutes. We are going straight to the SVU precinct from the airport," he said. She nodded silently biting her lip. The hand staid on her shoulder for a moment longer but soon left as Bailey walked away with a nervous sigh.

            Sam turned back to the folder on the SVU killer; she felt the weight this case had brought to the team heavy on them. She flipped the pages looking over the reports and pictures. She felt the fear Detective Benson must being feeling. Like Jack this man was obsessive, he devoured all those in his path… He was seeking vindication from something. She shook her head trying to arrange her thoughts, but she didn't have all the information yet.

            "We'll be landing in a couple minutes," John remarked a few moments before the captain did. Sam sought Bailey's eye contact. He nodded reassuringly. They knew little about what they would be facing. Sam felt a surge of energy move through her, what ever they would find she knew they could defeat it. Jack, no Jack, Jack copy cat they would figure it out and move on from on there. 

            "Agent Malone," Tom Delta local FBI greeted as the VCTF team descended the flight stairs. 

"Agent Delta, I didn't know you were meeting us," Bailey said looking over the man carefully. 

He had met Delta at a Quantico training exercise and never much cared for him. "I didn't either till a half hour ago. I'm just escorting you to the Special Victims Unit. My division wants nothing to do with this case," the short balding man said with a squinting eyes zeroing on Sam. Bailey now remembered why he disliked him. He stepped in front of Sam blocking Delta's view. Delta glared moving his gaze up to accommodate Bailey's tall frame. Bailey said nothing and led the way to the two black sedans at the end of the runway.

 "I didn't like that guy," John said voiced hushed as he walked next to Bailey, George, Sam, Grace and Marcus following. 

"Neither do I. Let's keep our eye on him. Let's make sure we know what he is up to," Bailey said glancing back at the rest of his team. 

 "Who ever is here we'll catch Bail. Jack is not resurfacing," John said reading the anxiousness in his friend's eyes. 

"We have to catch this guy, no matter who he is. I will not let someone else go through what Sam has gone through," Bailey said firmly setting his jaw. John nodded silently climbing in first of two sedans.

"When are they supposed to be here?" Cragen asked impatiently.

"Anytime, the airport said they arrived 25 minutes ago," George replied.

____________________

The SVU team was tense as they sat congregated in the squad room. Olivia was at her desk, Eliot leaned against the wall of lockers sleeves rolled tie loose, Fin and Munch stared at each other, cold coffee sitting between them.

 "You don't have to stay here Olivia. You can go home…" Cragen started. Olivia snapped her head up. 

"I'm staying Captain. I will be part of catching him. He's violated me in every way, I can't explain, I want to be here," she said powerfully. Cragen nodded his head in understanding.

"I think they're here," George said.

"About time," Elliot muttered as footsteps echoed on the hall floor.

"Violent Crimes Task Force I assume," Cragen said as Bailey entered leading his team. 

"Agent Bailey Malone special agent in charge," Bailey extended his hand. 

"Donald Cragen, captain of the Special Victims Unit. My detectives, Eliot Stabler," Cragen began introductions of his team which were positioned behind him. 

"Olivia Benson, John Munch, and Odafin Tutuola." They each shook hands the VCTF. 

"Pleasure. My team, forensic specialist Grace Alvarez, agents John Grant Marcus Payton and George Fraley, finally our profiler Dr. Samantha Malone…my wife."

__________________

Two agencies diametrically opposed begun to combine to achieve a mutual goal. While at first neither team was wiling to give up their independence they forged a bond out of need, a need to capture a man who was threatening one of their own.  

"But why contact now? He went nearly two months before sending the first note to Olivia, it seems strange that just all of a sudden he would just start sending notes," Elliot said as both teams sat discussing the first move to make.

 "I mean if you are suspecting a copy cat of this "Jack of All Trades" murderer wouldn't he make his objective known right off the bat?" Olivia backed him up. The room was silent for a moment.

"Not necessarily," Sam started slowly. "He wanted your attention. He knew how to get it. He moved forward slowly. The people… the connection became obvious slowly. He is growing more and more confident. The hand of the nanny… entering your apartment he is showing he is becoming brave. It's all a control issue. He wants to control everything, especially you. The photos of the victims… they show absolute planning and attention to detail. He wanted to show you he controlled every aspect. Everything happened because he allowed it to…. That was reason for the note! The note was his way of showing you that he allowed you to live!" Sam said as the picture in her mind became clear. Olivia looked a little queasy as the people surrounding the table fell silent.

"I need some air," Olivia declared coldly pushing away from the table. "I won't cower to this lunatic," she said walking away footsteps falling heavy on the floor.

Cragen looked at the people at the table and started to move. "I'll go," Elliot said standing and with a nod from his captain headed after his partner.

"Olivia," he called quietly as he saw her standing in the icy night outside the building. She didn't answer just stared at the empty street.

"I won't be a victim Eliot. My mother was a victim, I can't let this man rule my life..." she spoke slowly trying to warm her bare arms. Eliot walked towards her.

"You're not a victim; you are too strong for that. But just as you're not a victim you're not super human, you don't have to do this alone," he said softly standing directly behind her.

 "What does that woman know? We don't need them here taking our case…" she said bitterly. 

"Let them help us, don't be so stand offish. …'Liv you don't have to prove you're stronger then your mother." Eliot whispered. Her back went rigid for a moment then her shoulders slumped as she turned. "I don't? Some man controlled her almost till the day she died. This man hasn't raped me physically, but he might as well have emotionally! He's violated me, he's controlling me! He knows every action he makes dictates mine! Elliot, I don't know if I am…. Am strong enough to do this," she finished reveling more of her soul then she had intended. 

 "Oh, Liv," he breathed as he saw tears threaten. "It's going to be okay, I promise I won't let him do anything to you!" he said pulling her into his arms. She clung to him and burrowed her head into his shoulder. For one moment she showed weakness and drew from his strength, relied on his arms to hold her up and shield her from the world, something she never let any man do before. 

"You know I don't want the FBI here any more then you do, but you are what's important. If we can find this guy faster with the FBI we save innocent lives…we save your life," he said holding her away from himself and making hr look into his face. "I won't lose you Olivia..." he whispered. His hands cupped her face. "My brave, brave, Olivia," he said voice course. She closed her eyes and brought his hands down with her own. 

"Brave I'm not… we should get back inside," she whispered turning away walking silently towards the doors. She hesitated looking back at Elliot who refused to look at her but followed her in heavy hearted.

_________

"Olivia, Elliot, Agent Malone and his team are just on their way out," Cragen said as his detectives entered.

"Back to Atlanta?" Olivia asked a glimmer of hope in her voice.

"No, we've arranged to set up camp at a local hotel. We'll re canvas starting tomorrow morning," Bailey answered. They nodded.

"Okay," Cragen nodded clapping his hands together following them part way out, "We'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Nice meeting you," Sam smiled awkwardly as she followed her husband out.

___________

"Olivia, I want you to ether to go home with out of us, or get a hotel room with protective detail. After talking with the VCTF I don't want to put you at any higher risk then you already are." Cragen said folding his arms in unwavering decision. 

"I'm not going to run from him! That's what he wants!" he glared. 

"Its not running," Elliot said flatly.

"It's not?" she injected. 

"No, now choose, before I seal your apartment as a crime scene. This has gone on long enough," Cragen said leaving no room for argument. She didn't argue only set her chin in angry defiance. 

 "You can come home with me, the house is empty since Kathy," Elliot offered. She nodded answer silently.

___________

_"She's mine Stabler! Don't get any funny ideas now…" Jeremy said a cackle as he hung his newly developed black and white photos up to dry. Pictures of Elliot with Olivia's face in his hands the street lights casting a shaft of light on them hung before him making him grow angry. The man's temper flared up even more as he swirled another picture in the liquid watching the picture manifest in the shallow container. "Hmm… I wonder how well you would do Detective Stabler if I were to take your world away?" Jermoy questioned the silent room._

_He turned to his bulletin board red light lighting up the dark room dimly. "What would you do if I crippled you  ... I can't kill you… no that would hurt my darling butterfly… but I can…." He trailed fingering the pictures a sinister smile tugging at his lips._

__________

"Come to bed Sam," Bailey said as he pulled the blankets down on the queen sized bed. 

"In a minute," she called from the suites sitting room.

The VCTF had taken up residence in the New York Pilot Suites, a nice large hotel with an extensive meeting room to which they could devote to the temporary command center for the VCTF, not to mention nice spacious rooms for the members.

"What are you doing love?" Bailey asked entering the room and finding Sam sitting on the floor at the coffee table the SVU case files spread open.

 "Nothing… I just had a hunch. It's nothing," she shook her head tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"What is it?" he questioned sitting on the love seat. 

"I'm not sure…" she sighed scooting over to lean against the sofa.

"You look tired," he said concern filling his voice.

"I am tired, the flight I think," she chuckled.

"Let's get some sleep and start fresh in the morning," he smiled leaning his hand down to cup her cheek.

"I love you Bail," she whispered leaning on his knees. 

"I love you too Sam," he said urgently, a fresh need to protect her flowing over him. He kissed her waiting lips then stood leading her by the hand to the bedroom.

____________

_"Understand me I don't want he hurt!"_

_"I understand, you've only said it a hundred times!"_

_"Just so we're clear. Do what you like but remember I hired you to work for me. If you think this is what the next step is by all means, but remember what your objective is,"_

_"I've got it covered. This will work, he'll be devastated… she'll run to help… then you can do what you like…"_

_"Fine just don't mess up,"_

____________

"I will only be a few minutes," Olivia said hesitating at her apartment door.

"Okay," he said an eye brow arching. 

"I…I…" she said biting her lip.

"Would you like me to wait out here?" he offered. She nodded slipping inside the door leaving it slighting ajar. 

Elliot stood in the hallway for 15 minutes; he wondered what was taking so long. He slipped into the apartment darkness enveloping him. He heard a soft crying sound from the bedroom. "Olivia…" he called coming through the door. What he found was something he wouldn't soon forget.

Olivia was on her knees shoulders slumped. "Olivia," he whispered urgently rushing to her side.

"He…he…he was here," she cursed under her breath. He looked at the floor in front on her, there was the bottom drawer from her dresser… it was filled over flowing with butterflies. It was so simple, so seemingly unimportant but it was in it's simplicity that it packed the biggest blow. 

"Oh Olivia," he wrapped his arms around her.

"I hate this! I hate that I'm crying…. I hate that I can't control my life…I hate everything! I hate that I am the cause…" she said angrily.

"Come on let's go…" he said lifting her up. She looked around slightly dazed. 

"I'm the last person you need to be worrying about… I mean Kathy," she said even as his hand reached out to stable her.

"Enough, let's get you out of here, we'll worry about tomorrow when it comes, so let's not borrow trouble," he smiled closing the lid on her suitcase before flipping his open to call the precinct about the second entry.

_______________

"I'm glad we ate on the way here," Olivia grinned eyeing the take out containers on the kitchen table as they entered the house. Elliot didn't say anything but held his hand up for quiet.

"Does something feel weird here?" he questioned. Olivia wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel, she was in another woman's house when she wasn't there… what kind of weird was he looking for? 

"What is it?" she questioned all her carefully honed senses at attention.

"I don't know… it just feels different, oh well" he sighed removing his jacket. "I'll show you your room." They started towards the stairs.

"I'm afraid there isn't too much furniture left…Kathy came by a couple days ago and too most of it while I was at work," he remarked apologetically. She didn't comment but followed him up the well worn stairs. 

"Anyway, here is the guest room… used to be Maureen's room but with her getting ready for college…" he shrugged. 

"It's very nice," she smiled sitting her bag by the dresser. 

"You know where the bathroom is?" he started out the door but turned back. 

"'Yes I'm fine thank you… go get some sleep Stabler," she grinned. 

"All right…" he said with an amused half laugh. "Good night Benson."


	3. Of Hearts and Arrows

**TITLE: **Of Hearts and Arrows

**AUTHOR:** RaeAnne

**DISCLAIMER:** see chapter one

**AN:** Again thank you so much for the feedback and input. I hope you enjoy this chapter too.

            Wishing you a happy holiday RaeAnne ---(-@

**Chapter 3:**

** Of Hearts and Arrows**

Butterflies… the insect kept Sam preoccupied a good part of the morning, she sat at the large meeting table before even Bailey was up, going over pages and pages on her lap top, still the connection was fuzzy.

The VCTF was up and running by 6:30. "The SVU team should be here in twenty minutes. We have our plan set?" Bailey asked as he gathered his team around the table.

"We're ready Bail, though what we are looking for is still confusing me," John said leaning back in his chair manner casual.

"He's in a holding pattern himself… he made the intentional movement with the rapes, that's how he got her attention. The murders were to bring her closer, the power is the issue. He's made contact, he's growing bolder, entering her apartment…he'll strike again… soon, but I don't think we'll be able to name the victims, so right now I think we should be trying to find all that can to identify this man. The sooner we do that perhaps we will be able to narrow his list," Sam interjected. 

"Agreed," Bailey echoed. 

_______________

"We've got to be at Pilot Suites for the VCTF meeting in ten minutes!" Elliot called as he adjusted his tie. 

"I know, just about ready," Olivia returned finishing her light make up. 

"So what do you think of this VCTF thing?" Elliot asked leaning against the door frame of the bathroom. 

"They are the feds, I mean their resources will be a help, but…" she looked for the right word.

"I know," Elliot said folding his arms. She shrugged giving him a small smile. Elliot returned the smile surprised to find his stomach fill with little butterflies and his heart warm. "When did that happen?" he thought quickly his eyes moving over every curve.

"Is there something wrong?" he heard her question but it didn't register. 

"Huh?" he moved his riveted eyes back to her face. 

"You were starring at me, is there something on my clothes?" she questioned further. "Why do women always ask that? They must know good and well we were starring, but not because there was anything on them, but for the pure fact that they are THEM! Yet still they ask, they must like to see us fumble with an answer!" he growled silently.

"What? No! I was just… just thinking that's all?" he said sheepishly. "Why is he so jumpy?" she thought.

"Well if you are ready I am" she smiled still curious about his preoccupied mind but wisely said nothing. 

"Yeah let's go," he nodded moving out of the door way.

"We're going to be so late," Olivia moaned finishing her somewhat stale bagel Elliot had handed her. 

"Yeah I know," he sighed ushering out the door. "Got everything?" he asked.

"Yes…wait no… I forgot…" she turned half way down the steps running into Elliot's chest. 

"Sorry," she smiled.

"No harm done… What did you forget?" he said eyes locking onto hers. 

"I… I can't remember… must not have been too important." She turned back towards the car a blush rising. Elliot fell into step a guiding hand on the small of her back. 

_______________

"You're late," Cragen glared as Olivia and Elliot came through the doors of the VCTF command center meeting room. 

"Sorry sir," Olivia acknowledged slipping into an empty chair Elliot following.

"All right…first step we are going to review what we know about "Jack" and your "Dawson", Sam feels there is definite overtones that are similar to Jack. While we don't believe that he is Jack, Jack has been known to hire men for various reasons. We believe that Dawson is in deed one of these hired men, though for reasons we don't know.

Our best chance at stopping him is to understand him the best we can. I think that we should re canvas the area, it will help my team to become familiar with the case and with your unit, if that is okay?" Bailey poised the question to Cragen who sat on his left. It was more of a statement then a question, a courtesy formality, that he didn't mind extending. 

"Fine," Cragen nodded.

"Great, Detective Tutuola if you and Marcus will check out these victims family members and see if we can place a connection between them and Detective Benson," Bailey said handing them a folder containing five names. "Grace, John and Detective Munch if you could visit the ME and collect any new information, specifically if the victims had any date rape drugs, the files we had didn't mention it. With it being found in the wine bottle it's possible it would be found in others. George, Doctor Haung said he will be joining you later today to help entering the new information into the data banks for cross referencing to get a clearer profile," Bailey paused looking at the remaining two detectives and the captain.

"Detective Benson, I would like you to go over your apartment again with Sam," Bailey tried to be tactful in his request, but it was his wife who held the social graces, and who helped smooth the matter. 

"It helps me to a get a feel for what happened… it helps me get into his head better," Sam said quickly with a smile.

"Detective Stabler, Captain Cragen, if you would accompany me, I'd like to talk to the remaining families," he finished, retaking his chair.

"Sounds fine, when do we re group?" Cragen asked.

"We'll meet back here at 2:00 for lunch and see where we're at," Bailey answered. 

"Got it," Cragen said rising his unit following. Olivia glanced at Elliot as they filed out of the room. "Be careful out there," he whispered into her ear as he passed. "You too," she said. He winked and followed Cragen and Malone out.

_______________

"So Dr. Malone how long have you been doing this?" Olivia asked as they were stuck in light traffic.

"Mmm, a while now," Sam replied folding her hands

"How long has this Jack been after you?" Olivia questioned.

"A while now…" Sam laughed.

"You seem to be handling in well," Olivia remarked in a questionable tone.

"I've been at it for a while. It was hard… awful at first. I shut myself away from the world. After my first husband was killed I retired from the FBI, focused on my daughter.

"You have a daughter?"

"Yeah, Chloe, she was seven at the time of her dad's death, she now thirteen! Bailey brought me back to the FBI when he put the VCTF together. You know as scary as living with Jack was… learning to live without fear was even harder."

"How so?"

"Well I escaped my pain by shutting it out; by ignoring it I thought somehow it would go away. I went back to the FBI still in danger but empowered, not by self imposed solitude but by the security of friends and the knowledge that _I _controlled my life not Jack. I realized that my past didn't have to cripple my future. We still haven't caught Jack, but I have learned to live again."

Olivia was silent pondering the statements. "I commend you Dr. Malone, it must have been a battle," she said her heart listen to Sam's words more then her mind did.

"Please call me Sam,"

"All right, Sam. How did your daughter handle everything? I mean at seven she must have been terribly traumatized by everything,"

"She was, but she is tough. I had worked the FBI with Bailey before Tom, my first husband, was killed. We were good friends and he stepped in becoming a strong figure in her life when we came back. It's funny, he was so protective of us… anyway he became a father figure to her. She still talks about Tom and knows that he is her father… but Bailey is her Dad. He was essential in helping her adjust… me too really," Sam finished watching the cars move by.

"You've come through some pretty amazing stuff," Olivia said flatly mind wondering, her hands tightened on the wheel as her apartment came into view.

_______________

"Why the butterflies? I haven't figured it out yet," Sam said absently as he looked over the bedroom. "They were here?" she mused looking at the drawer. 

"Yeah, I found them last night. He was in here after the first night," Olivia said the words turning dry on her tongue. 

"You have no idea why the butterflies?" Sam said eyes still on the drawer which she had placed on the floor. She walked to the door and then back focused on the bed and the angle of the dresser. 

Olivia watched in curiosity. "No... I have no idea. I mean I like them… since I was a little girl, but other then that…." She trailed raking her mind for anything else. "Wait! When I was in Jr. High, I ran for class president and a butterfly was my sort of mascot… if that helps," Olivia offered. Sam took in the information before falling to her knees at the side of the bed. Olivia moved from her position in front of the closet to see what Sam was looking at. 

"Is that an arrow?" Olivia breathed. 

"I think so," Sam said pulling out a long elaborately made arrow with a shiny yellow tip.  The shaft on the arrow appeared to be a little over a foot long, thin pink and red satin ropes drape over it. 

"Is the tip gold?" Olivia asked believing it to be. Sam nodded baffled by the arrow. 

"How did you know to look there?" Olivia asked as she bagged the item. 

"When he came in he chose to leave things on the floor… the butterflies, he made a point of saying he "stood over" you, it just seemed like he wanted something around you at all angles," Sam said trying her best to explain her gut feelings. 

"So it appears we have two clues to explain… the butterflies and the arrow," Olivia said bitterly. Sam studied her for a moment before responding.

"We will catch him," Sam said purposefully. 

Olivia felt a chill move through her. "I'm not worried," she said adamantly.

"You forget, I've been here before. I've been reckless and blindly brave to prove a point, it cost me dearly. I'm not saying to lock yourself away and resign yourself to be a terrified victim, but realizing that there is a sicko out there might help you keep perspective. It's a tough road you're on, but you've got a good man watching your back… that always helps," Sam said trying to comfort yet warn Olivia of the road ahead. 

_______________

"What have we found out?" Bailey asked once both the VCTF and the SV unit were seated at the table lunches in front of them.

"The families were little help. They didn't think that their daughters were seeing anyone. The descriptions we got from some of the witnesses were vague at best. The police sketch artist has the descriptions and is working on a compost," Marcus gave his report flipping his notes. Bailey nodded.

"The ME couldn't offer much help either, no more then we already had. Tests came up negative for any drugs, date rape included," Munch offered.

"Yes, and I went back over the bodies and I found nothing that would add much to the report. No special markings, nothing that could point conclusively to ritual killings. Clean stab wounds, sharp smooth blade, about three and half inches wide and gauging from the angle and depth of the wound six inches long. No excessive force, rather ordinary… for murder anyway," Grace added.

"We came pretty much up the same way with our families too," Cragen said.

"We found something," Sam said laying the arrow on the table. The group looked it over silently.

"Why haven't you had it sent over to the lab yet?" Bailey asked picking it up.

"We just found it at Olivia's, we thought bringing it here for everyone to examine before sending it down would be helpful," Sam said. Bailey nodded his approval sending it down the table.

"It looks like it's possibly made of silver with a gold tip, not pure though it's too firm," George Fraley noted turning it over. 

"We thought the same thing," Olivia agreed. Elliot had been silent so far, his afternoon not progressing very well.

_______________

**3 Hours Before**

"Stabler," Elliot answered his shrilling cell phone as he followed his captain and Agent Malone to the car.

"Mr. Stabler this is Mark Thompson, attorney for your wife," the man paused.

"I know who you are," Elliot said with disgust. 

"I couldn't get a hold of your attorney, though I did send the papers. What I am calling about is to notify you that there is a restraining order on you to no come with five miles of your wife, children and not to contact them by phone or other wise," the slimly attorney said. 

Elliot felt sick, "On what grounds?" he spat. 

"My client feels that what is going with the man your unit is purposing that her and her children would be in harms way if she isn't efficiently protected from you,"

"You've got to be kidding! Because I am cop I can't see my kids?"

"I'm sorry, the judge issued it this morning, you can get a hold of your attorney and he will explain it to you," the attorney said then hung up. Elliot hung up his phone and climbed into the car, slamming the door behind him making both Cragen and Malone look back.

_______________

"Do you have any idea why there would be an arrow at the apartment?" George Haung asked Sam. "No, not yet, the butterflies are important, and tie in here somewhere… once I get them figured out the arrow should fall into place, I just haven't made the connection yet," she sighed picking at her Chinese take-out container.

Containers of food were spread out on the table all in varying types, Thai, Italian, Mexican and plain cheeseburgers. Papers were strewn about pens, high lighters, markers, pencils, and most every type of research book you could think of littered tables chairs and any other available work space in the once large room. 

"George," Bailey said re entering the room carrying more papers.

"Yes?" both men answered.

"Sorry, this George," Bailey smiled pointing to Fraley. 

"What up?" George asked taking the offered papers.

"Can we get these up on the video screen? I just got these from the lab, they are pictures of the butterflies and arrow, I thought they might be able to help get some thoughts moving," Bailey answered. 

"Will do," he nodded hitting a few keys on his lap top and sending the pages through the scanner.

"How are we doing?" Bailey asked Sam.

"Okay, the more I look the more everything becomes blurry, I don't understand why I can't get a handle on this guy," she sighed.

"Okay the-…." George started but was cut off by two men bursting through the double doors of the meeting room.

"We are looking for a Detective Stabler" a tall man with a black suit, matching tie and white shirt said with his partner a replica, only shorter standing beside him.

"I'm Elliot Stabler," Elliot said moving from the corner of the room towards the center.

"I'm Agent Davis, my partner Martinez, I'm afraid we have some news," the taller said opening his badge.

"Agent Malone, VCTF, what is going on? We are in the middle of an investigation here," Bailey said coming up beside Elliot.

"This is a family matter Agent Malone, we aren't here to interfere," Martinez said.

"Someone tell me what is going on!?" Elliot said anger rising, along with anxiety. 

"Sir, can we please go outside?" Davis asked holding a door open.

"Fine," Elliot said pushing past them into the hall.

"We have a car outside," they said leading him outside.

_______________

Elliot felt his heart began to pound as they made it outside. The snow covered walks were dingy and the road was ugly with black colored slush. He felt his heart drop when he saw the car was running, a driver leaning against the hood.

"What is going on?" he demanded.

"Sir, there is no easy way to say this… your wife has been in an accident, she is at are at Angel of Mercy Hospital downtown, we are here to get you," Davis said slowly.

Elliot felt like he was going to choke, he couldn't breathe, his head spun and he felt numb. The words floated around in the air barely registering. 

"What… what…happened?" he asked wetting his suddenly dry lips.

"Sir, we need to get you to the hospital, we will explain everything then," Martinez said opening the door of the waiting car.

"What about my partner, someone needs to tell her what is happening," he said turning back to the building in a daze. 

"Sir, Agent Davis is going to tell them, we need you to come with us now… please sir." Martinez said placing two hands on his shoulders and directing him to the car.

 _______________

**1 Hour Before**

"Come on Maureen bring your brother and sister, we have to get going, we are meeting Jerry in five minutes, we are going to be late!" Kathy called coming through the door of the hotel room.

Suitcases were spread around the room, clothing heaped into them with no certain order. They had been biding their time in New York city on the advice of Kathy's lawyer. But that was all coming to an end now, she had been successful in creating a loop whole, the restraining order had been a brilliant idea, she now had the perfect excuse to leave the city. She smiled to herself at her cunningness. Kathleen followed her in carrying lunch.

"Mom, do think that doing this to dad is really the right thing to do?" Maureen asked helping to close Lizzie's over stuffed suitcase. 

Kathy glared at her eldest daughter and said in disgust," What isn't fair Maureen is what your father has put us through these past few years! He spends more time at his job then with us, he likes spending time with his slut partner more then us, and he deserves this!" 

Maureen glared back her mother every once of her angry. She opened the door and sent the twins down with their suitcases to the waiting van before speaking to her mother. "Hey Kathleen will you help the twin's load this stuff?" she asked taking the food from her sister. Kathleen nodded heading back out the door. Maureen sat the greased spotted paper bags on the night stand and turned back to her mother.

 "What isn't fair, what isn't right, is this, you standing their in all your high and mighty glory accusing dad of having the affair that you've actually been having! Dad does his job with the help of female partner, you try and convince us that this "Jerry" is a long lost cousin; the twins don't even believe that mom! This isn't right!" she declared stomping her foot to get across her point.   

Kathy just looked at her daughter with disgust. "If you don't like it darling daughter… leave, you're eighteen, go run, leave!" she said with a sing song voice.

"I would, but I promised dad to take care of the twins and Kathleen, and I mean what I say," Maureen said with sting.

"Leave Maureen, you are not welcome here, leave!" Kathy said finally losing it, picking up the lamp and hurling towards her. 

Maureen froze in fear as the lamp shattered beside her, the light bulb bursting with blue and white sparks.

Without speaking she grabbed her key's and headed for the door.

            "Where do you think you are going with that missy?" Kathy asked following Maureen onto the walkway. Maureen didn't answer just raced down the steps.

            "Get in the car!" Maureen yelled to the twins and Kathleen who were standing by the van. 

            "What?" Kathleen asked. 

            "Get in my car, not the van, the car now!" Maureen yelled desperately. They looked at their crazed mother, their desperate sister and went towards the Ford Taurus eyes wide in fear.

            "You'll never get away with this Maureen!" Kathy yelled franticly. Maureen looked back only once before climbing in and slamming the door.

_______________


	4. Pierce the Soul

**Title: **Pierce the Soul

**Author: **RaeAnne

**DISCLAIMER: **See chapter 1 and the song Stand by Your Side is by Celine Dion.

**AN:** Hey all, here is chapter 4, yeah! I finally got it done. Thank you for the feedback again, you guys are too good to me!

Kukrae: thanks for the pointers, I will try and watch out for them, sometimes I get typing and get carried away, and I don't always catch them on the proof read.

Ccabello: you are always right there with a review for my new chapter thanks!

Blacknight5: I'm glad that I've been able to mix SVU and Profiler the shows are just awesome, I hope my story doesn't shine too badly on them.

Olivia26: Thank you so much for the great reviews!

Stabblerchick: Captivating and riveting are two words that every author loves to hear THANK YOU :-)

… ps prayer answer

Maria: they are coming as fast as I can type them:-) thanks for the review.

And to everyone else who has reviewed you guys are just awesome! TTFN

**Chapter 4:**

**Pierce the Soul**

"What happened will you tell me now? How are my kids?" Elliot asked as the car pulled away from the curb. Martinez looked at him questioningly. "My kids! How are they?" he demanded.

"Sir, there were no kids in the van, just your wife, we identified her by the ID in her purse," Martinez answered.

Elliot could hardly even think. "What are you talking about? My wife and I getting a divorce, she had the kids; she just got a restraining order against me! Where are my kids?" he said frantically.

"Sir, calm down, I'm sure they are fine," Martinez said slowly.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down! My wife is the hospital, and my kids are missing, and you want me to calm down!" Elliot yelled angrily.

"We're almost there," Martinez said.

"I can't believe this… I'm heading over to the hospital…" Olivia said standing.

"Slow down Olivia," Cragen said putting his hand up to stop her.

"He needs us over there!" she said passionately.

"I understand that, but first thing first, you need to calm down, you will upset him more if you are upset," Cragen said as the SVU team sat re collecting themselves after Agent Davis left.

"Is there anything we can do?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so but thank you," Cragen said.

The group sat silent for a few minutes before then were again interrupted by the doors being burst open.

"Dad! Dad!" a female called coming through the doors.

"Maureen?" Olivia cried mouth dropping.

"Where's my dad… I was at the station… they said that…. That he was here… where is he?" she said tears streaming a terrified Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie behind her.

"Maureen, where is your mother?" Olivia asked as they made room for them to sit down.

"What? She's… she's at the hotel… Where is my dad, I need to talk to my dad!" she said shaking, her siblings sitting around her silent, tears streaming.

"Maureen I will take you to your dad just as soon as I can, you trust me don't you?" Olivia said kneeing in front of her. Maureen nodded. "Okay, why are you here instead of with your mom?"

Maureen drew a shaky breath. "She… she was leaving New York… running away with Jerry, she got a restraining order against Dad this afternoon because of chasing that guy, she told the judge she didn't feel safe. I…I told her I didn't think she was right doing this to dad…. She… she went crazy!" Maureen was shaking terribly; the twins wrapped themselves around Kathleen. "She threw a lamp at me… she told me to leave… I took Kathleen and the twins with me… and we went looking for my dad…." She sobbed.

"Oh Maureen," Olivia whispered pulling her into a hug. "It's going to be all right… oh it's going to be all right," Olivia whispered running her hand over Maureen's hair. Maureen just sobbed into Olivia's shoulder. The stress of her mother and not being able to find her dad had just about sent her over the edge.

"I… I just didn't want… her to her to hurt them…" Maureen whispered sobs quieted.

"I know, you did so well, getting them away, you were just wonderful Maureen," Olivia assured.

"The van was found flipped in the ditch; she was unconscious and stopped breathing for two minutes after the ambulance got there. That is all I know, you will have to talk to the doctors for more," a uniformed police officer said as Elliot questioned him in the lobby of the ER minutes after getting there.

"My name is Elliot Stabler I am the husband of Kathy Stabler, can I talk to someone who knows what is going on," he demanded cooling down a bit.

The woman behind the counter came over hands full of charts. "Sir, we are really busy, if you will give us a minute," she said eyeing him. He clenched his jaw tight, resisting the urge to say something he shouldn't.

"Fine," he said turning to address the agents who brought him in. They weren't to be found. "What the…" he began making a full circle to find them. He didn't. He brought his phone out to call the hotel where the SVU was but was promptly shut down.

"I'm sorry sir, you will have to go outside to use that, we don't allow cell phone's in the ER," the same woman told him snottily. He lifted his shoulders instead of his middle finger and turned away from her making a face.

"Family of Kathy Stabler?" a man in green scrubs asked coming from down the hall into the lobby a few minutes later.

"I'm her husband, Elliot Stabler, what happened?" Elliot asked rushing over to the man.

"Sir, I'm Dr. George Clark, you wife is in surgery now, she came in with trauma to head, a collapsed lung, severe injuries to her arms and legs, we think she may have a broken her spine, she is in very bad shape. We don't think she'll make, I'm so sorry," the doctor said. Elliot couldn't hear much after "we don't think she'll make it," he nodded to the doctor and turned for a chair before he collapsed on the floor.

He didn't know where his kids were, and his wife was dying, his head felt like it would explode. He slumped in the chair head in his hands tears not coming, a shock setting in.

"Elliot…" a soft voice said behind him. He lifted his head and felt most the tension drain from his body. He turned to take in the face of his partner.

"Olivia!" his lips formed the name but it didn't come out. He saw her standing their holding the hands of the twins and Maureen and Kathleen standing on either side of her.

He cried.

"My kids…" he said softly standing and moving to them. "Thank you God," he whispered as his kids rushed to him. He fell to his knees in front of Olivia embracing Lizzie and Dickie.

"Daddy!" they cried hugging him. Maureen and Kathleen hugged him too. Olivia stood watching tears stinging her own eyes.

"I don't know what to do…" Elliot said some five hours later sitting with Olivia in a small dim waiting room adjacent to the ICU. She nodded stroking Dickie's hair as he lay against her sleeping fitfully. Elliot held Lizzie on the other end of the small sofa, Maureen and Kathleen sleeping in recliners on the other side of the room.

Kathy had come out of surgery two and half hours ago, she had certain brain damage, a severed spine and was in a coma on life support, and it was now up to him whether to let them turn that support off. They would know by morning if there would any chance of her waking up.

"You know I am here for you in what ever," Olivia said softly eyes on the pattern of the sofa.

"I know that, and that is the greatest comfort I've known," he smiled moving his arm from under Lizzie enough to reach over and squeeze her hand. She smiled.

"If you like I can go back to the house and bring you anything you need," she offered lowering her voice more as Dickie began to stir.

"That would wonderful if you wouldn't mind, there are so many tears on this shirt it's becoming sticky," he said trying to make light but remembering the reason for the tears sent another blow.

"I will go just as soon as I can move him without waking him up," she said. He nodded.

Cragen had succeeded in the getting in investigation most the way done without the involvement of Elliot or Olivia, and was especially careful of the kids. But it was VCTF who took lead in getting to the meat of the matter.

"I'm Dr. Samantha Malone, with the FBI, I would like to talk to the officers first on the scene," Sam said coming up with Bailey at the police station.

"Why does the FBI want to talk to us?" a plain clothes detective asked coming.

"We are here investigating a crime with the SVU it was one their wives in the accident, we are just taking a routine report," Bailey answered.

"Can't you just read the report?" he asked.

"We could but we want to talk," Bailey said putting much power into his voice. They were obliged.

"I was the officer on the scene, she was pretty bad when the EMT's got there from what I understand, unconscious, and they finally got her awake for a few minutes on the way to hospital, but all she kept saying was "psyche" and "eros" whatever that means. The van's break lines were cut, it caused her to lose control on the high way, and it was obvious sabotage. But you can Stabler that he is in the clear; we know where he's been. I really can't help you more then that," he said turning back to his desk.

"Are yo.." Bailey stared but was interrupted by Sam.

"Thank you very much, here is our card, please call if you remember anything else," she smiled broadly and pulled Bailey with her as she left.

"What was that all about?" Bailey demanded as they took to the icy sidewalk, darkness falling.

"I think I've made the connection!" she said anxiously.

"You have the keys?" Elliot asked as he walked Olivia to the ER entrance.

"Yeah," she smiled.

"Okay, be careful, call me when you get there," he said reaching for her hand.

"I will, but I'll be fine, worry about your wife and kids," she said squeezing his hand.

"I don't know what I would do if I lost you…" he trailed voice becoming deep.

"You won't lose me don't talk like that," she said putting a finger to his lips before pulling away.

"I wish I knew that for sure…" he said under his breath as she walked away.

Olivia arrived at the house and went in an eerier feeling falling on her. She tried to shake it off going onto the porch. "That's funny," she said as she saw broken glass on the porch. "The light is broken," she figured out as she saw the remaining metal in the light socket. She quickly looked around her heart beat starting to race.

"Calm down Olivia, it's just nerves," she told herself silently. She put the key in the lock hand steady on the butt of her gun.

The house was empty just like they had left it; she kicked herself for being so paranoid. She flipped on a light and started for the stairs. The house held a different feeling for her as she looked around and took in the memento's of the Stabler family with a new respect. She hurt for them as she looked at the remaining family photo's the one's Kathy had left, not many but a few. Somehow she thought it hurt more seeing it empty then it would filled with things. It just echoed the truth of emptiness, not even a façade could be made. She trailed the banister wit her fingers as she climbed the steps. She saw images of what must have been like, watching the children grow up here, watching Maureen come down the steps in her first prom gown… watching Lizzie and Dickie climb the stairs for the first time. Memories etched into the word work. She smiled at the nearly scrubbed clean crayon marks on the wall going up, "the things we find so important one moment are merely a memory the next" she mused making it to Elliot's room.

She tried to turn on the light but it wouldn't turn on. She flipped the switch a few times but it failed to achieve illumination. She pulled a small pocket flashlight from her jacket pocket and clicked it on. "always be prepared, always a good motto," she thought. She shown it around the room and felt a silent scream well up in her as her light fell on the makeshift cot where the bed used to be.

Five large blue butterflies laid in neat row were what she found. "No, please no…" she moaned terror welling up in her. She shut of the flashlight and left the room quickly.

"Hi, Yeah everything is okay, I'm here, I'm going to be on my way back in a little bit, … okay talk to you later," she hung up her cell phone, convinced she convinced Elliot she was indeed okay, she would be when Cragen got there. There was no reason to worry him any sooner then need be. She walked back out of the room and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding to floor, bringing her knees to her chest, there she sat.

Ten minutes later she heard the sirens of the approaching cop cars.

"Olivia!" Cragen called coming through the front door Sam and Bailey following.

"I'm here," she said coming down the stairs Elliot's shirt in her hands and a few things for the kids in a small bag.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked guiding her to a chair in the living room.

"Yes, just a little bit shaken up," Olivia said honestly.

"Does Elliot know about this?" Munch asked.

"Not yet, I talked to him ten or so minutes ago, after I talked to you, I told him I would be on my way back to the hospital in a little while. I didn't want to worry him…" she trailed.

"That's fine, I will drive you back to the hospital," Munch said putting a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"We got the black light you wanted Dr. Malone," a CSU detective said bringing in what appeared a black light spot light.

"What is that for?" Olivia asked.

"Jack likes to leave messages in black light ink, we wanted to see if there were any Jack inspired messages," Sam answered.

Sam was pretty sure she had put together a fairly true profile, but wasn't ready to share it till they were all together and they had completed the investigation here.

"I want to see if there is anything before I go back," Olivia said standing.

Cragen nodded and she followed the team up.

"Can you close the curtains Fin?" Munch asked as a they crowded in the doorway.

"Yeah," Fin said closing the curtains blocking the moonlight.

"Okay it should up as soon as I…" the man from CSU said turning on the light.

It light up the room, the writing glowed. "All my Amor for my Psyche," was scrawled on the bare walls.

"Now what in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Olivia said angrily.

"Amor, it means love in Greek…. Psyche is the butterfly winged girl in ancient Roman mythology…" Munch trailed.

"All his love for his butterfly…" Sam said solemnly.

_"You were going to kill all of them!"_

_"I know, they were supposed to in the van! The girl messed it up! How was I supposed to know the mom was going to go loco on me?"_

_"You have spent the last four weeks with her; I would think you would have a pretty good grasp of her mental state!"_

_"Well excuse me!"_

"There you are, I was starting to get worried," Elliot smiled as Olivia entered the waiting room.

"Sorry," she forced a smile. "Where are the girls?" she asked seeing only Dickie in front of the small television set.

"They went to cafeteria; they should be back in minute… Olivia is there something a mater?" Elliot asked seeing the tight muscle in her jaw line.

"Elliot when they get back we need to take a walk," she said letting out a pent up breath.

"Okay," he said.

With in moments they walked in. "Hey dad, we brought you some coffee and a sandwich…" Maureen said stopping when she saw Olivia, "Hey, Olivia," Kathleen smiled.

"Hey girls," she smiled. "I brought you a few things from home… there wasn't much, but I stopped and got you at least a toothbrush and a change of.." she was stopped by a blushing Kathleen who took the bag, "Thank you Olivia!" she said hugging her before retreating to the chairs.

"I was just going to say socks…" Olivia laughed realizing what must have thought.

"Hey Maureen, Olivia and I are going to take a walk, would you keep an eye on Lizzie and Dickie for me?" Elliot asked standing.

"Sure Dad," she smiled, passing a juice box to Lizzie.

"Ready?" he asked Olivia. She nodded and he opened the door letting her exit first.

"You look terrible," she said hurt filling her voice. He half grinned.

"Thanks," he laughed.

"You know what I mean," she laughed putting a hand on his arm as they walked.

"Yeah, I know," he sighed stretching his sore shoulders willing the tension to leave. They walked the empty silent halls hands brushing. He needed some assurance of life, he wanted to hold someone who would shrink back, and he needed someone to lean on just for a moment… he needed a life affirming, love affirming action. He took her hand. She looked up eyes showing her shock he just pleaded silently to just for a moment draw from their friendship. She read his mind and laced her fingers with his.

When your walls crash around you, who do you turn to? Who brings you from your knees and helps you mend your wings? The same person who remembers your coffee, who holds the door for you without thinking, the one who changes your world with just a word, who is the constant in your present, the echoing memory in your past, the distant hope in your future. The one you sometimes take for granted is the one you miss the most when they are gone. Who is that one who finishes your sentences, who knows your soul without asking, the one whose opinion you value most, whose approval you seek, who's name is the first you think of in the morning and the last before you sleep? Chances are it's the one you don't even think, chances are it's the last one you thought, chances are it's the one whose hand you hold, and whose heart you keep without even knowing.

"What did you want to talk about?" Elliot finally asked as they ended up at the nursery of the maternity ward.

"How do you know I wanted to talk?" she asked tip toeing around the inevitable.

"I know you Olivia," he said looking at the new babies with their pink and blue blankets.

"Elliot… there was a break in at the house tonight," she finally said. She watched his face go to stone.

"Dawson?" he said name like acid.

"Yes," she said voice barely above a whisper.

He cursed under his breath as he turned away from the viewing window moving with purpose away from the nursery. She practically had to run to keep up with him.

"Elliot where are you going?" she begged. He didn't answer just kept moving.

"Elliot you can just keep walking! Talk to me!" she pleaded once they were outside the hospital with no coats.

"Yes I can! That seems to be the only thing I _can _do! Olivia I'm tired of being helpless! I couldn't protect you… he stood over you… he could have killed you and I couldn't stop him! Now he breaks into _my _home and I can do nothing to stop him! I will kill him so help me I will," he declared fists clenched every fiber of being hard and anger showing through his eyes like fire.

"Oh Elliot…" she whispered laying a hand on his forearm. "It's not your fault," she said over and over again as she tried to loosen his ridged muscles. "You can't control the world… you have protected your family so faithfully…" she said getting him to at least stop his maddening sprint.

"I couldn't protect you…" he said voice dropping.

"You… are the only man in my life who has, until you came into my life I never knew what it was like to have a man who wouldn't take, who looked after me, that has meant so much to me, you have to know that!" she said voice growing in volume as she spoke.

Like the snow under their feet she saw the hurt, the anger melt away. In its place came a tiredness, a weariness that she had never seen before. She wrapped her arms around him and felt their breaths blend; their hearts beat in once accord. The simple action energized both.

"We will win this El, we will beat who ever this is… he will not destroy us," she breathed laying her head on his shoulder as snow softly began to fall on them.

"You madden me sometimes, do you know that Olivia?" he said a tired laugh tinting his voice as his arms tightened.

"What?" she replied in shock.

"I mean that in the best way possible. You believe so faithfully. So whole heartedly, you pierce my soul with your truths and mend my wounded faith. I believe we will beat this, I just hope that it doesn't destroy my kids," he said letting her go as they started back to the hospital.


	5. Remember When

**TITLE:** Remember When

**Author:** RaeAnne

**DISCLAIMER: **See chapter one, Remember When by Alan Jackson

**AN: **Hey :-) I'm sorry for this shorter chapter, it seems as Christmas nears the crazier my life. Also this is kind of a filler chapter, a chapter to move me to the next phase which should hopefully get into the actual pursuit of the man and more E/O. THANK YOU so much for the feedback, I do so love clicking on all those reviews, thank you! I am not totally sure how long Kathy and Elliot were married… so I guessed. Oh, I almost forgot the part about the Greek and Roman mythology is mostly true, from what research I did. I had no idea about most of it till I researched butterflies once… anyway, just a tidbit there :-) The medical condition is real, though I know little about it and have taken considerable creative license. Thanks Happy Holidays RaeAnne ---(-

Lilmamaday: What a wonderful review! Thank you, and can I say I honored to be listed as one of your favorite authors? I think I will… THANK YOU:-) I loved Profiler, and even more the chemistry between Bailey and Sam, writing this story just fulfilled a little dream I had to see them together :-)

Catnamedzane: I'm trying to catch him! Really I am…. He just keeps sneaking out of my grasp… :-) Soon though

Stablerchick: You leave the nicest reviews, thank you, truly thank you.

Ccabello: I can always count on your review, thank you :-)

**Chapter 5:**

**Remember When**

"Dr. Clark, you are telling me there is no possibility of her waking up?" Elliot said words seeming cold as they left his mouth.

"Sir, I am sorry, but your wife is so severely gone, there is no hope, she will remain on life support and in a coma till what remaining brain function stops and her body shuts down. I am so sorry," Dr. Clark replied as they sat in a stark hospital office.

A few formal papers was what Kathy Stabler's life had been reduced to in the eyes of the hospitals. Elliot felt sick, memories of all the happy times they had, the birth of each one of their children flooding his mind. He couldn't speak as emotion and ghosts haunted him.

"I will leave you so you can consider your options," the doctor said standing.

"Is she hurting?" he asked. No matter had come between them in the past few years of marriage he still cared for her, he stilled loved her even if he wasn't in love with her, if there was any chance that she could wake up and she wasn't in pain he owed it to her.

The doctor paused his face neutral, "Yes she is," he said and went out the door.

Elliot felt like some on had punched him the stomach. How could he make a decision like this? He stood leaving the office and headed to the ICU.

"Olivia, can you come to the hotel? Sam thinks she has a profile ready for us, I know Elliot is meeting with the doctor today, but I think you will want to hear what she has to say," the Captain called her at the Stabler home where she was with the kids.

"Sir, Elliot could possibly be making the choice of whether his wife lives or dies and I am here with his children, I don't know if I should leave him when he gets home," she said sighing.

"I know, but this is important, please Olivia," the captain pleaded.

"Fine, what time do you need me there?" she asked.

"2 pm," he said.

"I'll be there," she said and they hung up.

She hung the phone and turned to stir the soup on the stove. Lizzie came in.

"Olivia is mommy going to be okay?" she asked dragging a stuffed teddy bear with her.

"Honey, I don't know…" Olivia said fighting back the tears as she saw the pain and innocence of the little girl.

"I miss her… Dickie does too," she said quietly.

"I know, I am so sorry," Olivia said picking her up and sitting her on the counter opposite the stove.

"She was mad at daddy, did you know that?" she asked toying with the stuffing that was starting to come out of the ripped ear.

"Yeah I did, but I know she loves you very much! Oh she loves you so much do you know that?" Olivia asked biting her lip as he wrapped the girl in a hug of which Lizzie returned tearfully.

"Hey would like me to fix your bear Lizzie?" Olivia asked as she pulled away swatting at tears.

"Could you?" she brightened up.

"Yeah, I can, does your mom have a sewing basket around her somewhere?" she asked giving the soup one last stir before turning to low.

"Yeah it's in here!" she said taking Olivia's hand and pulling towards the living room.

Olivia glanced out the windows as she entered the living assuring herself that the squad cars were still out there. They were.

"Wonderful, we'll have him right as rain in no time!" Olivia grinned sitting the girl next to her as they sat on the floor bear and basket between ready to work.

"'Livia, what does "right as rain" mean?" Lizzie asked.

Olivia laughed searching her mind, "You know dear, I'm not entirely sure…" Lizzie beamed at her and Olivia laughed.

"Okay Sam, want to take over from here?" Bailey addressed the group at ten after two.

"Sure," she said rising. She nodded at George Fraley who pulled up a picture of drawer of butterflies.

"Here is where it really starts, the butterflies, he refers to Olivia as his butterfly, there were 10 butterflies in the drawer, one in the box with the hand, one in the envelope, one on her bed and 5 on the bed the Stabler house. It took me forever to figure it out… the arrow, it didn't fit… till this" she pointed to George and he pulled up a picture of the writing on the wall.

"Detective Munch, you were very good, Amor is love, and Psyche was the butterfly winged girl in ancient Roman mythology. He was indeed saying that he was sending his love to his Psyche. We interviewed the officers at the scene and what was told to us and was confirmed by the EMT's that Kathy Stabler moaned the words "Eros and Psyche" when she was in the ambulance. Here is where it comes together."

"Eros is another name for Cupid, also known as Amor, in both Roman and Greek mythology. In Greek mythology Cupid was sent by his mother Venus to punish Psyche the beautiful girl with butterfly wings because people were beginning to worship her instead of Venus, but Cupid fell in love with Psyche and carried her off to his palace of gold and gems. Butterflies are more then his symbol for Olivia, it is believed that when a person dies his psyche which literally means soul in Greek became a butterfly. I believe that the butterflies he's delivering are representatives of the people he has killed. Most threatening are the five found in the Stabler home, if I am correct those were meant to represent, Kathy and the four children. Kathy messed up his plans by letting Maureen escape."

"This guy believes he is Cupid, the arrow left in the apartment was gold tipped which is supposed to make someone fall in love. The stories of Cupid portray both a happy and cruel nature. When he kidnapped Psyche he kept her locked up in the castle and never let her see him in the light, only in the darkness. This is why I believe he broke the lights in both the bedroom and the porch of the Stabler house. On the flip side, Cupid is believed to unite lovers and genial. I believe it is possible he suffers from either dissociate disorder which is where people forget who they are and become someone else and often believe they are in another world, the feel like they are observers in their own lives. It would account for the two types of dispositions he exhibits. The man in the letters is different then the one who writes on the wall. The one writing the notes is angry and wanting to punish, control like Cupid who kept Psyche in the dark, on the other hand the one who leaves the butterflies and the wall messages shows care, morbid love, but love, like the Cupid who is portrayed with bow and arrow. We are beginning to get inside his head, and when we do that we can stop him quicker." Sam finished.

The room was silent till Olivia spoke. "Why did he go after Kathy and the kids?" the question made her heart pound, or rather the possible answer.

"He views Elliot as a threat, any male that is close, Cupid became anger when Psyche lit a lamp and saw his face. He could believe that Elliot is the lamp that is lighting him up, his way of fixing that is to cripple Elliot. That is another reason we aren't totally sure of his mental state," Sam said.

"He's hurting Elliot because of me?" Olivia said feeling an enormous weight fall on her, remembering Lizzie asking if her mom was going to be all right.

"Not so much because of you… but because of something in his past…" George Haung explained who had helped create the profile.

"Which I am in! Why! Why me? What did I do years ago that has this guy killing! Did I cheat off his test? Did I steal his homework? What is?" she cried standing up.

"Calm down Olivia," Cragen said putting a hand on her. She jerked away.

"I will not calm down! Four innocent children's mother lies in a hospital dying because of me and you want mo to calm down, sir I can't do that!" she said emotion crippling her.

"It's not your fault," Sam said sternly. Olivia glared at the woman but was silent. Sam was the only person who could tell her that and she would believe. She was the only one who could say she understood, she was the only one who could convince her that it wasn't her fault, but even she wasn't able to.

"It is," Olivia said voice low as she turned from the table.

Alone in the city she walked, snow falling, happy people walking the streets Christmas cheer spread on their face. In every face she searched, wondered if it was the face of the man who sought her. She blinked back unwanted tears as she thought of the pain she had inflected on the one man she not only loved, but trusted with her life. She thought of the children who would grow up without out a mothers love, because of her.

Even as she felt sorry for her self she heard the little voice in her head, who sounded strangely like Elliot, telling her to suck it up, catch the bad guy and look at the good not the bad. But this was differently then just feeling guilty about a case, this was her; this was her life, her case, her anthem.

She found herself standing on a bridge, the center just watching the rippling water. She thought of that unwavering faith Elliot had spoke about, she desperately wanted to have, but found herself short.

She could believe they would survive when it was just her threatened, she could put on the front when it was just her tortured mind, but when it hurt the man she love….She stopped mid thought, loved? When had she discovered she loved him? The feeling instead of elating was devastating. She had nearly cost the man she loved his children and most certainly his wife. She felt more alone, more desolate then she ever had in her life. The one relationship she treasured, the one person who she could rely on through everything was being destroyed, or would be when he found out it was because of her his wife was dying, why his kids were nearly killed, and certainly now stalked. The thought for taking his world from him… she dropped her head, clutching her stomach as he became sick.

Three hours after taking to his kids, and Maureen's and Kathy's tearful heart wrenching goodbye's Elliot stood alone in the cold hospital room. Dickie and Lizzie had no idea what would be happening, he didn't tell them, he thought that telling them would be more trauma then their tender hearts needed, they knew she was sick and they told her they loved her and went out with Maureen.

Tears trickled down his cheeks as he stood by himself memories flooding him. The soft beeping of the machines was the only sounds, and it was deafening. His knuckles grew white as he gripped the bed railings gasping for air. This was it, he knew part of her died all ready a while ago, but this was really good bye.

"Do you remember…remember when we met? You were so beautiful, so full of life… I was enchanted…" he whispered knees weakening.

"I remember the first time we made love… I hurt you, I hated that… you cried and I didn't understand when you said it was because of happiness. I just held you till you fell asleep…"

_ verse one>_

"I remember when we had Maureen… she was so small…" Elliot was on the verge of losing it as memories he hadn't thought about in years wrapped themselves around his mind and heart. "You gave me four beautiful children for that I will be eternally grateful,"

verse two, three>

He looked at her pale bruised form, seeing every machine made breath filling her body. IV's and tubes, his heart held onto the all the good the past held.

"We had some good times, you and I. There were sometimes thought I wondered if we'd make it to another day," he smiled running his hand over her tousled hair.

"I remember when we celebrated our twentieth anniversary… I remember you laughed and asked we had come to be old enough to be married twenty years…I told you that you were more beautiful now, then the day I married you. You cried," Elliot wept.

verse four>

He looked at her searching his heart, he still loved her in spite of all, and she was them other of his children. He wasn't sad so much for the future plans, those he had mourned the day she left; she was a different person then. It was for memories of the persons she was, of the man he was, the love they had, the past memories that killed him. They had grown apart over the last couple years for that he had regret, but he loved her, spent years together building a life, they weren't in love anymore, that realization had been made. He closed his eyes as he filled his lungs with air, they ached.

"You were a good mother and a wonderful wife, thank you. I'm sorry I didn't say it enough, I'm sorry I didn't hold you when you wanted. I'm sorry I didn't dance with you in the rain when you asked me to, I'm sorry for the times I wasn't there… when you needed me the most. If I had done those things… maybe it wouldn't have come to this…" he said tearfully. "I never regretted one moment of my life with you… I hope you didn't too many with me. Please forgive me and please if you can hear me… somewhere in the depths of your heart please don't remember the bad, but the love we had of all the good times, remember that I loved you…that that…" he wanted to scream as he heard the flat line buzzing in his ears.

_ verse five>_

"Flat line!" a nurse called rushing in the room.

A doctor was right behind. He looked questioningly at Elliot, who shook his head.

"Please forgive me…" he breathed.


	6. Every Breath, Every Move

TITLE: Every Breath, Every Move

AUTHOR: RaeAnne

DISCLAIMER: see chapter one

A/N: Oh I am SO SO sorry for the slow update! I got the flu Saturday… and have been miserable, but am getting over it now, the shot doesn't help you not get, but shortens the stay thankfully! Anyway I am so so sorry it took me so long to get this up! The story isn't moving along as well as I like, I hope this chapter is okay….

Happy Holidays Everyone!

RaeAnne ---(-

**Chapter 6**

**Every Breath, Every Move**

_"What is it you accomplished by killing her?"_

_"Come on, it put her right in my hands! He's caught up grieving for his wife, I mean it would have been better if the kids had been in the van too, but either way she is blaming her self! It's perfect…"_

_Oh I watch her, like a window I look into her soul. My perfect butterfly, my Psyche, my Olivia her name sweet on my lips as I watch her shirt fall to the floor. Poor thing… all by herself in her apartment yet again. Tsk, tsk, couldn't bring herself to look her partner in the face. I pity the fool. Aw, but watching as I do now makes everything worth while. I will have her; it's only a matter of time. From my perch I take it all in, I can almost smell her, almost taste, but alas I will have to wait. Soon, by the dark of night I will take my Psyche, I will take her to my palace of jewels and gold. I will lay her in clouds of white and she will never look upon my face, my Psyche, my butterfly. _

"Sir I can't do this anymore," Olivia stated voice even. Cragen looked at her then to the badge and gun laid on his desk.

"It's not your fault," he said voice deep eyes steady. She closed her eyes biting her lip nodding.

"I don't care; it's because of me one way or another. My past, my present, it's me somehow," she shrugged.

"So leaving is your answer?" he questioned.

"Sir, I can not go on in the name of protecting the innocent, when I am the cause. I will do everything in my power to contribute to this investigation but not the capacity of a SVU detective or any other type for that matter. I just can't do it. I've destroyed my partner, how many more lives will have to be sacrificed?" she said tears springing to her eyes.

Cragen was silent for a long moment. "Fine, you want to throw it way who am to stop you? Walk out that door; run away it's your life I suppose. I thought you were better then that," he said emotion gripping his voice. Olivia let a few tears slid down as she prepared to leave her home, her sanctuary, her heart, her sanity.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't let her do that," a mellow deep voice pierced the empty air. Olivia whipped around.

"Elliot!" she breathed. He gave her a half grin as he stood in the empty open door way dressed for work. He wasn't supposed to be till the morning. She wanted to leave without facing him; she had avoided him since the day he had come home from the hospital after talking to the doctor… before Kathy died.

"I won't let you leave that easily Olivia. I want to remind you of something the captain told you… well me really but had me tell you, but anyway, remember that case with the cabbie? "You can't pick the vic," those were the captains words then and they are my words now. Olivia, I did not choose to have my wife killed, nor my kids threatened, but just as didn't choose that, you didn't choose to have this maniac after you. Olivia we can't change what has happened no matter how bad we want to. We have to hold our heads up, face each day and what it brings, no matter what. We can't pick what happens to us just as we can't pick who is hurt, who is killed or who is saved. You told me then you were a good cop, let me now tell you what I said then, I know you are… you just have to know it too," he finished a blank expression on his face. The captain smiled behind her back and gave a nod of approval.

"Tell my partner I am in the car…" Elliot said turning heading towards the hall leaving her speechless. "Tell my partner to meet me there if she shows up," he paused turning back with a wink. Olivia stood unmoving the closing elevator doors jarring her back to reality.

"Sir…" she said grabbing her badge and gun gunning it for the elevator. Cragen just let a relieved laugh exit his weary body. "I knew she couldn't leave us," he smiled.

"Aww, so you arrive," he smiled as she appeared breathlessly at the sedan. She grinned at him so sure of himself leaning against the driver's door arms folded neatly across his broad chest.

"Bite me, Stabler," she laughed moving to the passenger side.

"Don't tempt me Benson," he said a touch of seduction his voice as he turned to unlock the doors. Her mouth formed the word "oh" as she tipped her head and climbed in the car.

"So where are we headed?" she asked casually as the pulled onto the street.

"Over to the VCTF, they got list or something we can start narrowing down," he stated.

She nodded silence following. She felt the heaviness falling over them and hated it.

Minutes ticked by as they drove. "You never said goodbye to the kids," he said out of the blue. She knew what he meant. It had been a week since the death of Kathy, and a week since Olivia had seen Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie or Dickie, the funeral hardly counted.

"I'm sorry… how are they doing?" she asked softly.

"Okay, Kathleen cries at night, when she thinks I don't hear, Lizzie and Dickie don't understand it all, and Maureen… she tries to be so strong, pretends she is okay… but I see it in her eyes, she just won't talk to me," Elliot sighed. She nodded words choking her.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked as the turned into the hotel parking lot.

"Yeah there is," he said parking the car and turning to her.

"Name it,"

"Have dinner with us tonight… Maureen might open up to you… it would mean a lot me," he said an earnest smile spreading. She swallowed hard unsure of what to say.

"They don't hate me?" she questioned.

"What? Of course not! They miss you…" he said.

"Okay I'll come," she smiled and they exited the car.

"There you guys are! Great let's get started!" Bailey announced as they entered. The group was seated around the table like always. Munch and Fin looked worn out and tired, they had been working on the case day after day barely stopping for sleep. Olivia felt her heart warm and guilt flow at the caring of her friends; she almost tossed it all away. She shook her head as she sat.

"What it comes down to is how do we catch him?" Elliot said plainly as they were twenty minutes into the conversation.

"We are getting close; the mental state of Dawson is becoming worse. The two different men seen in both the notes and the wall declarations are blending, but not to a sane person. He is becoming Cupid as he sees it. He wants Olivia, he is still murdering, but only those in his way, his has her attention; he just needs to get to her. We have put together a list of probable personality traits. Including violence towards animals, not so much people, we believe this to be his first real bout of violence; he has problems with women authority he's just never acted on it before, never been bold enough. He's educated, reclusive. We aren't totally positive were in Olivia's past we can put him, but gauging form his way of wording he holds a degree a familiarity that points to long term connections… school. School is where we end up. George has been cross referencing for hours and school gives us the most feasible list. Olivia mentioned that she had used butterflies in a campaign for class president in jr. high. We think maybe Dawson's affair began then."

"As for catching him, we need him to move so he can slip up. The best way for us to get to him is to let him get close to us. He wants her, he's earned her love he feels, he's left the arrow to make her fall in love with him he just needs to capture her and his world will be complete," Sam said rubbing her eyes.

"What if we set him up… I mean somehow contact him, use me as bait!" Olivia asked. Elliot glared at her and spoke before anyone else had a chance.

"Not a chance! We are not putting you at risk," he said adamantly.

"Elliot…" she started but was cut off.

"No, Olivia, there is no way I am putting you up for him to even get close to!" he said anger evident.

"It was just an idea…" she backed off his angry eyes piercing through her. "If we could catch him it would save so many other people…" she said feeling her blood warm.

"If something like that was done he would never get close enough to touch her…" Bailey injected smoothly. Elliot glared at him mouth clamped tight.

"As a last resort," Bailey said hands raised.

_Happy family, all seated together with their meal, ha, so typical. So safe in their idyllic world. These trees are a nuisance, no bother though… Mmm they think those cops aren't noticeable to me? Ha, they are so stupid, if they could only know I see their every move! So sad you know, they look so happy… Elliot I warned you once not to get close to my butterfly! What must I do to convince you she is mine?_

_Oh you lean in tickle her ear, nice move Stabler, I will have her, before you get the chance. I will run my hands over every inch before you do._

_Sure, maybe you are with her now but I've watched her since she was a child. I watched her grow up, I watch her walk the empty school halls, I was first to see her cry those solitary tears in the gym when the other kids called her a bastard child. I was there the day she became a cop, I watched her the day she walked into your squad room. If you think I will let her go easily your sadly mistaken. She's mine, I've earned her, she is my butterfly. Those dazzling eyes are going to take in only me…well maybe not me… but certainly not you! _

_Oh you two are alone with your wine… sitting in the living room all cozy. Don't touch her…I'm warning you, you will regret it. Damn you Stabler. There she's standing… aw, she even knows she is mine. Hands on her shoulders…you're touching her all wrong. Ha! She is leaving! Run my butterfly lift your wings and fly to me… by butterfly winged girl…_

_Night closing in around me, stars refusing to shine in the dark sky, the moon hiding in the clouds. The cover on night keeps, the heart of butterfly sustains me. _

Olivia sat with Maureen on her bed no words passing. "You don't have to talk if you don't want to…" Olivia said softly.

"I…I… hated her for what she did! Olivia… I didn't even cry at her funeral! Am I terrible? I loved her… but she tried to… Olivia I… miss her!" Maureen cried tears cascading down her cheeks sobs raking her chest. "Oh I miss her so bad… I turn to tell her something… and she not there… I start to say how much she'd like something… and I remember she's gone!" Maureen sobbed. Olivia brought her close letting the girl cry away her frustration.

"I am so terrible," she moaned. Olivia held her tighter glancing up as she saw the door open a crack.

"You're not…. She was wrong in what she did. But that doesn't chance that she loved you, she just went a little crazy, there was a lot going on… none of it was your fault! She loved you, and you still love her! It's okay!" Olivia said rubbing the girls back.

Olivia looked helplessly at Elliot who hovered in the doorway. He had a sad expression on his face as he watched his partner hold his oldest daughter. A flutter went through him, an urge to protect his family, his daughters, his son, his partner. Hatred for Dawson coursed through him so hard his hand shook on the door knob. He turned away and headed down the stairs to open some wine.

"She's sleeping now," Olivia said softly coming down the stairs. Elliot nodded handing her a glass as they sat on newly acquired sofa.

"Thank you," he smiled. She nodded pulling her feet under her.

"You know…you were really great with her," he said swirling the dark liquid.

"She's strong girl.." Olivia said absently.

"Olivia…I… think I…" Elliot stood suddenly words failing him.

"What is it?" she questioned.

"Olivia… you mean the world to me, you know that right?" he asked falling to his knees in front of her. She was quiet, she did know that, she also knew her heart was beating faster then it should be, she knew that if she wasn't careful she would say things she had in her heart and they would all be in trouble.

"I hate that I am helpless to stop Dawson, I hate that I could lose you… you make my heart beat! You…" he was silenced by her fingers on his lips. She shook her head.

"Don't Elliot, it's the wine….you're just upset," she said fighting tears as she started for the door.

He reached out hands on her shoulders. "No.." he started but she just shook her head sat her glass down and escaped out the door.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered racing down the steps.


	7. Lift Up Your Eyes

**TITLE: **Lift Up Your Eyes

**AUTHOR: **RaeAnne

**DISCLAIMER:** see chapter one

**A/N: **Hey all :-) Here is chapter seven! Thank you to those who reviewed!! With Christmas getting so close, I don't know how many chapters I will get up in remaining weeks, and I am sorry that this one is short. Please forgive me and don't give up, I will finish this story! I am so pleased I got the rest figured out… I just have to write it now :-)

**Passionsfan83:** SVU is one of my favorite shows of all time! I'm glad you've enjoyed my story! Here are the names of all the songs, they are also named in my disclaimers at the start of my story, and some are listed in the first chapter in the main disclaimer if not in the chapters. 

Chapter 1: Butterfly by Delta Goodrem

Chapter 4: Stand By Your Side by Celine Dion

Chapter 5: Remember When by Alan Jackson

Chapter 6: Someday by Nickleback

**Chapter 7**

**Lift Up Your Eyes**

            "Elliot, let me do this… I need to do this!" Olivia pleaded softly touching his arm. Elliot felt his heart panic, he couldn't lose her, not like this, he needed to tell her so many things; she couldn't put herself at risk like this!

            "I wish you wouldn't," he pleaded. She closed her eyes summoning all the strength she could muster. 

            "Let me go…" she said forcing a smile and walked away from him, from the safety of his protective span. "Let me _go…" she whispered._

            "We got her on monitor! They are on the move, watch it carefully!" Bailey called from inside the FBI van. Elliot felt his limbs go to rubber as fear froze him. 

            "He won't hurt her," Sam assured as a hand rested on Elliot's shoulder. He sent her an icy stare and shrugged her away.

_______________

**10 Hours Before**

            "Olivia, it's me… I'm sorry for whatever I did tonight… please will you pick up so we can talk?" Elliot pleaded on the answering machine. Olivia curled up on the couch in the cold empty feeling apartment. The answering machine clicked and Elliot desperate voice vacated the room.

            She knew what he was going to say tonight, it was why she left. He couldn't feel anything for her, he just couldn't! He was so messed up from losing his wife, he wasn't thinking straight! I mean look at who am I! She thought heart quickening. The daughter of rap, the unstable passionate detective, the cause of his wife death! Not someone he should even thinking about caring about! She grabbed a nearby pillow and sent it flying into the air as her lungs filled with a silent scream. 

            As feathers floated to the floor she glared at the slivers of moonlight that streamed in the windows. She would have to take matters into her own hands. He wanted her… he would have her, not before he lay in a pool of his own blood at her feet, she thought with disdain. The movements of her thoughts flickered from Elliot, to Dawson and a thousand other destinations with lightening speed before stopping on the inevitable. 

_______________

            "What are thinking about?" Bailey asked Sam as he entered the nearly dark command center at the hotel. 

            "Nothing… it just seems the closer we get to this one the more baffled I get!" she exclaimed turning over the butterfly found at Kathy Stabler's bedside. 

            "I thought you got the profile figure out, I mean we are close! Everything is in place!" Bailey said sitting beside her.

            "I know, but it just isn't fitting! The names, the people they don't fit! I mean the profile is nearly flawless, Haung made sure of that, and the evidence validates it, but it doesn't feel right!" she said voice dropping.

            "You are still thinking Jack?" he voiced the fear that no one in the VCTF dare give credence to, in vain hope they could escape it. 

            "Yes and no, there is someone obsessing over Olivia, but I believe that he is just the puppet, Jack is the mastermind," she said. Bailey watched his wife carefully taking in every change of expression.

            "But why? Jack's focus was you, what would Jack have to accomplish by manipulating someone to harm a NYPD detective?" he asked not willing to let Jack have credit. 

            "Jack has been quiet, I don't know why Olivia, but I do know everything so far as been so contradictive, the violent letters, the voice of love on the walls, the rapes, murders, the violence and the love it would make us think two different people but the mental issues offer the perfect answer! I don't want it to be Jack, you know I don't! But this has to be stopped!" she said setting her stare at the butterfly.

            "I agree, but how to we prove or disprove its Jack?" Bailey said laying his hand on hers. 

She looked at him love and fear filling her eyes, "I don't know."

_______________

            Olivia tossed and turned in her bed, a cold sweat made her sticky. She carefully sat pushing her sticky bangs from her forehead. "I've got to get up…" she whispered to herself standing and grabbing her robe. Her heart beat frantically as she felt dizzy sinking to a chair in the living room, "What is happening?" she said warm tears slipping down her cheeks. She felt sick and raced for the bath room as whatever was left in her stomach churned. 

            She by the light of small nightlight fell to her knees at the cool toilet. She threw the lid up sending a red rose she hadn't noticed falling to the floor.

_______________

**5 Hours Before**

            "Sam get up! It's Jack!" Bailey announced waking Sam from a deep sleep. She groggily looked at the clock on the hotel nightstand the numbers reading, it was one in the morning!

            "What do you mean?" she said trying to clear her mind of the thick fog.

            "A guard found a package on the door step. There was a red rose tied to it, they got it going through the police lab, they are going to open it as soon as we get there!" Bailey said tossing her clean pair of pants and shirt from a near by suitcase. She accepted them gratefully; she changed in the bathroom her stomach queasy. 

            "What is going on?" Cragen asked as his detectives and FBI filled the small lab downtown. 

            "What is the matter Olivia?" Elliot hissed in her ear as they stood shoulder to shoulder crapped in the small room the brown package in the center of the room on a small metal cart.

            "Nothing, I just must have eaten something that didn't agree with me," she lied. He looked her up and down taking in the sweaty face and pale complexion. He wasn't a great cook, he would cop to that, but no one else had been ill, and he doubted she had too much after she left the house.

            "The rose is Jack's trademark; he's left them before…" Sam stated as Bailey ran the knife across the cleared package. The room was silent as he pulled away the box flags.

            "Tissue… a small bottle…note," John narrated from the side.

            Bailey with gloved hands pulled the contents out and placed them on the side.

            "What is in the bottle?" Munch questioned. Eyes fell on the bottle, small in size; no more then four inches tall, dark brown glass with a cork stopper no label. 

            "What does the note say?" Grace asked as the simple white folded piece of paper laid beside the bottle. 

            "One thing at a time," Bailed said unfolding the paper.

_            Dear Sam,_

_Aw, we meet again, you thought I was gone. I about was, you saw to that. But I am back. I am sure you are baffled by why I am, but I promise all will be revealed in due time. Please forgive the note… I know that is a far cry from my normal style, but oh well. The bottle, you might want to have Olivia drink soon, the sickness will become unbearable soon if not properly treated. Now don't all gasp at once, you knew I was in this from the beginning. You just have to figure out how deep I am. There will be another note soon to clarify what I want. Because I am growing tired of this game you have something I want, a sweet new someone and another someone, but telling you now would waste the surprise. Tell Olivia, I have information on a secret that has plagued her soul for a while. For now love,_

_            Jack_

Bailey ended the note figures white with anger. "What in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Cragen asked all attention falling on Olivia. She shrunk back.

"I got sick about a half hour ago…but…" she said hoarsely.

"What did you have after you left my house?" Elliot demanded fear escalading. 

"Hardly anything…I grabbed a cup of coffee from a little stand by my building," she defended. 

            "What did the person look like working there?" Sam asked.

            "I wasn't really paying a whole lot of attention, medium build, sandy brown hair… he did have a unique ring though…" she started but was interrupted by Bailey.

            "It had an U on it," Bailey finished and Olivia nodded.

            "Jack!" Sam said. "We've got to get the bottle analyzed and your stomach pumped to figure out what is going on," she said handing the bottle to Grace. 

_______________

            "Bailey we need to talk," Sam said softly as she came up to Bailey who sat in the darkened meeting room head in his hands. Most of the group still remained at the hospital where they were waiting on the treatment of Olivia, who was going to be fine, a sever food poisoning, and plain sugar water in the bottle. A scare attempt none the less.

            "What about?" he said voice tense.

            "I should have told you my suspicion soon, I just didn't want to add to the pressure… when I wasn't sure," she began.

            "Listen, you had no idea about Jack…" he replied but wasn't silenced by her shaking her head. 

            "That is what I am talking about. You've been asking me if I've felt all right, you thought I've been sick… Bailey I just found out for sure, I had the test when we took Olivia to the hospital…" her voice quivered as he looked at her face emotionless but eyes anxious. 

            "What is wrong?" he breathed.

            "Nothing is wrong… at least I don't think so," she smiled biting her lip. "Bailey… I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed. A large smile spread across his face and he with a relieved laugh pulled her into his arms hiding his face in her blond hair.

            "Honey this is wonderful!" he said over and over again. She felt tears sting as fear crept in. 

            "Bailey… I am thrilled to carrying our baby…" she started pulling away. "But I'm afraid that… that Jack is after it!" she said a flood gate of fear and anger opening in her. 

            "How far along are you? I mean how would he know?" Bailey said not willing to believe it.

            "Six weeks, Bailey we have been trying for a while… Bailey the note said he wanted the sweet new one! Bailey what if he is after our baby?" she pleaded trembling. He couldn't answer her just pulled in again into his arms and whispered his eternal love as he rocked her.

_______________

_            Sam,_

_            Ready for my demands? I want the thing you cherish, yes that little new one… I want; or rather my friend wants Olivia. It is that simple! You will deliver them to me or forever regret it. Your incentive Sam? Chloe, yes, your darling daughter, I am within a word of having her in my hands, Olivia your incentive? Your father. You have hunted him your entire life; I offer not only the name, but the man. Olivia, you will meet me at the enclosed location, I hardly expect you to come alone, but you will make sure that no one interferes, if they do Chloe is insure a life of my choosing, and you will never know your father. Isn't this fun? I'm having fun, until later!_

_            Jack_

_P.S. Cupid sends his love. _


	8. When The Heart Bleeds

**TITLE:** When the Heart Bleeds

**AUTHOR:** RaeAnne

**DISCLAIMER:** see chapter one. The song in the end is the chorus of "Behind Blue Eyes" by Limp Bizkit

**AN: **Hey all I am SO sorry it has taken so long to get this up! The holidays are so hectic! I hope you all had a merry Christmas and a happy New Year! My number one New Year resolution is to finish this story! (note: unlike my goal to eat healthier and travel around the world I intend to keep this one! Lol) Okay on with the story! Hope you enjoy it and review! Thank you to the faithful reviewers who have stood this through my flu, the long time between updates, the holidays' everything you haven't forgotten and have always reviewed THANK YOU! RaeAnne

**Chapter 8:**

**When the Heart Bleeds**

Elliot watched Olivia head into the wide open space of the empty parking lot, his heart nearly stopping as she paused in the center.

"Okay Jack, I'm here…" Olivia breathed the darkness of predawn holding her save for the weak light the single tall street light.

"What did he say about you not sending Sam?" the Captain asked Bailey as the watched the monitor a few yards from the lot.

"He didn't, the message just said he wanted Olivia here and the rest would come to light soon…" Bailey breathed clicking his pen as he eyed his wife sitting on the floor of the van watching out the open back door.

"Okay there is definite movement on the road, can't get in the vehicle on the screen yet…" Fraley said turning his attention from the screen where they had received Jack instant untraceable messages to the second of three screens on the van wall.

"Olivia is just standing there, when is something going to happen?" Elliot demanded bursting in at the back doors.

"Mellow Elliot, its part of his game, its okay nothing is going to happen!" the Captain said slowly speaking to himself as much as his detective. Elliot was silent as he eyed his captain lips drawn in a straight tight line anger and desperation ripping through him.

"Come on Jack… come and get me you…" Olivia cursed under breath as the only light in the area went black and an explosion sounded from the area of the FBI van and her world went just as black.

Smoldering ashes drifted in the air and a red rose fell to the ground as the December sun kissed the sky.

"Mmm, hope I didn't hurt you too bad," a seedy voice murmured in her ear as hands removed a thick blindfold.

"Elliot…" Olivia whispered hoarsely her through dry and head pounding.

"Oh your friends…. They just were in the way! My dear sweat Samantha… oh dear Sam…" the man sighed adjusting the ropes on her wrists.

"Jack!" she declared everything finally coming full circle in her fogy mind.

"Right! You will be good at this!" he said clapping his hands gleefully.

The room was damp and smelled musty. She wiggled her nearly numb legs and found them shackled to the legs of an aluminum chair then found her hands in much the same manner. One solitary bulb hung from the ceiling like a bad mob movie, it was the only source of light in the windowless room. A narrow metal from bed with a stained tattered mattress was the only other furniture. The door to this hellish cell must have been behind her for Olivia could see it has her eyes came into focus.

"Why is my head spinning… and my heart feels like it's going to fly out of my chest?" Olivia asked forcing her voice to stay even, trying to remember everything she ever learned about handling deranged perps.

"It's the shot I gave you… should wear off soon, in the mean time lets talk!" he said sitting across from her on the bed.

"Yes, lets, you said you knew my father…" she said feeling strength returning to her.

"Well you certainly cut to the chase don't you!" he said with a smile. She glared. "Feisty thing," he said mostly to himself.

"Most of my questions I have answered myself, you are the man writing the notes to me, the one who killed innocent people to get to me! The whole Cupid thing was so clever!" Olivia said with just enough praise to warm him up.

Jack just let out a teasing snicker and crossed his legs folding his hands over them. "You are partly right dear, about which part I won't tell! This is just too fun! You're smart like I said; I think you'll get it without me spelling it out! Pity your partner won't see you figure it out!"

Olivia's heart pounded as the last few minutes at the parking lot flooded over her. Silence slammed itself over them as Olivia felt her insides twists and fear spilled inside of her.

"You killed them! You killed them! There was an explosion… you killed them didn't you!" she stated more then asked as tears, tears of anger, tears of fear and hurt welled in her eyes. Jack just smiled.

"There there, I told you, you would get it! Why don't I let you just thinking about that for a while… when one has nothing to lose one is more likely to give up all," he sneered standing and heading for the door which she determined to be behind her. "Be a good girl and I'll untie you," he said once he was behind her. She didn't answer just starred straight ahead.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged and went out the heavy metal door. Once the door was shut Olivia's head hung and she let a dry sob ravage her soul.

"No, no, please God no," she cried as she struggled violently against her restraints. She fought her tears and restraints tell her head hurt from cry and her wrists throbbed from the rubbing. She strained her neck upward and dropped her shoulders as she screamed in one finally outburst.

"This wasn't supposed to happen!" she whispered head falling and tears stopping.

_"Should we be doing this? I think it's getting out of hand…"_

_"Oh shut up! We've got her, you wanted her! I still want my precious Samantha… who I will have…."_

_"But my butterfly… you hurt her… look at her you took away her partner…."_

_"Yes, but she would have never come to you if I hadn't! See she's open and ready now!"_

_"But my butterfly….."_

_"Oh please, let's just get this over with so I get Samantha!"_

"You're awake," Jack said coming in the room. Olivia's body went ridged and she whished she could hide her red puffy eyes but she just sat straight as a board and dared him to try anything.

"We've been watching you…" Jack started sitting a plate of spaghetti on the bed. She turned her head towards him question flickering in her eyes just long enough for him to catch it. "Aww, you didn't spot the camera in the corner, I thought you were more aware then that," Jack sighed twirling the fork with spaghetti. "Oh well," he said plucking the noodles off then licking his lips.

Olivia turned her head away as tried to make her stomach quiet, but it growled. "Are you hungry?" he asked a sick gleam in his eyes. She wouldn't look at him.

"See if you were a good girl I would let you loose and you could eat, but you might try something foolish like stabbing me with the fork," he laughed knowing full well that was indeed on her mind.

"Why are you keeping me here?" she asked turning back to him.

"Because for some strange reason your father wants me to," he said absently though keeping an eye on her gauging her response.

"My father? Is he here?" she demanded.

"Indeed," he said with giddy, oh how he loved a good plot!

"How do you know him?" she pushed even harder.

"Oh, one thing at a time! Have you figured out who I am yet?" he asked tipping his head as he moved within inches of her face.

"You are Jack," she said not flinching even as his sickly sweet ghastly breath fanned her.

"I am, but there is more… how much more if for you to figure out."

"How do you expect me to do that! You don't give me anything to figure out!"

"But I have! All the pieces are there you just have to put them together! Why do I bother with you when you know my real goal is Samantha? Why do hold you here teasing you with little information on your father…. Why why why! These are the questions, it's up to you to come up with the answers," he said circling her. She remained deadly still mind turning over the evidence over and over.

"I need more information! Answer some questions," she said forcing her voice to be steady. He seemed to ponder the question for a long second then nodded.

"Are you Jeremy Dawson?"

"No,"

"Is the man who claims he is Cupid Jeremy Dawson?" she asked remember the contradictory profile Sam had come up with.

"Yes and no, did we want you to believe him to be, then the answer is yes, but is Cupid the same man as Jeremy Dawson then the answer is no," he said.

"Who is this we you refer to?" she questioned her pulse quickening with her question.

"Myself…and your father,"

Olivia's head was swimming as she took in the information. "What?" she cried letting emotion tinge her voice, the emotion she had been trying so hard to block.

"Oh yes, he has been very instrumental in this whole plan!"

"What? Why? I don't understand!"

"I know you don't. It's simple really; I'm not really sure how much I should tell you though…"

"Everything, like you said one who has lost everything has nothing to lose so there for will give up all, what is there for you to lose? You lost your Samantha in that explosion… I lost the love of my life…my mother died a while ago… so really what's there to lose? Why don't we give it all up?" she spoke coyly.

He smiled happily, "Nice turn around, and turn about is fair play, but it doesn't mean I will play fair. You're father has been in your life almost from the day you were born… though you never knew it. He has a mental disorder you see, doesn't always see things clearly," Jack said slowly then paused for a few moments letting Olivia crave more.

"Okay, but where do you come in? Why would you come to New York to stalk me? Samantha was in Georgia, why would you bring everything here?" Olivia questioned trying not to let the thought of her father watching her all her life paralyze her.

"It's a complicated matter. She's pregnant as you know, that baby I will have! Malone has been between her and I too long, here I have them away from their safety zone, not to mention the easy access to her daughter while they are away," he shrugged. Olivia watched him carefully; he was growing uncomfortable, uneasy with this line of questioning.

"But why out of the thousands of people here did you choose my father, me, to use in your plan?" she asked the wheels spinning faster and faster things coming together.

"It wasn't your plan!" she cried. He shot a freezing glare at her as his whole demeanor changed. Instead of laid back and taking joy in her hurt he was now angry and harsh.

"Shut up!" he said coming to her and raising his hand and slapped her, hard.

She was too stunned to even flinch. She felt the immediate warmth from the bloodied lip. Her cheek stung and she was sure it was all ready starting to swell.

"Stop it Jack!" an unfamiliar voice filled the room as the noisy door was opened.

"Get out Jer! I've got this!" Jack barked angrily. Olivia tried to twist to see the male voice but was unable.

"Fine, but untie her please! And don't hit her again!" the deep voice said hard in its determination. Jack eyed the unseen man but pulled a set of keys and went behind Olivia.

"You try anything and so help me…" Jack breathed as he released her. Jack held to the chair with a hand as he undid her hands then with a whispered thread left the room.

Olivia drew in a shaky shallow breath as she rubbed her sore joints and touch her tender cheek but recoiled from the tenderness.

"Can you hear me sir? Can you tell me your name?"

"'Liv…. She…where is she?"

"Sir… sir!"


	9. Breathe Again

**TITLE: **Breathe Again

**AUTHOR: **RaeAnne

**DISCLAIMER: **See Chapter One. I Breathe Again by Adam Rickitt

**A/N: **Hey all. Thank you so much for the feedback on the last chapter, I know progress is slow, and again I am sorry for the insanely short chapter, I've just had a horrid time focusing this week! We are nearing the end, a couple more chapters I think. It is kind of sad… anyway I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Looking forward to responses, I hope I don't disappoint anyone with this

chapter:-)

RaeAnne

**Chapter 9:**

**Breathe Again**

"This wasn't supposed to happen! He wasn't supposed to get her!" Elliot yelled angrily.

"There wasn't supposed to be an explosion fifty feet from the van either! Elliot we couldn't have seen this coming even if we tried!" Bailey said on edge as he held a cold compress to an on coming knot at the back of his head. Elliot paced in front of the ambulance anxious.

"Bailey I can't lose her!" he said hoarsely. Bailey nodded knowing that panic all to well; it welled up within his own heart as he looked over to Samantha sitting in the back of another ambulance.

"I know you are terrified now, but trust me, we will get back! We still have something he wants, my wife. Elliot I know the terror you feel I have been living with for more years then I care to count! This man has plagued my wife, he has crushed her, and he has taken nearly everything, including her feeling of safety, her husband, boyfriend, nearly her daughter, and almost her sanity! We will catch Jack, not just because he holds Olivia, or because he is obsessed with Sam, but because he is the closest thing to pure evil I have found!" Bailey said standing tall with angry pride and an ounce of fear. Elliot matched his steady blue eyes with the brown almost black eyes of Bailey and in that instant the world was theirs… now Jack, that was a different story.

"Hey there love, feeling better?" Jack asked as he came dancing in, voice sing song. Olivia sat on the bed eyes cold hands sore and red.

"What do you intend to do with me?" she questioned.

"Do with you? Do with you? What a question! I haven't really thought about it yet, though you have been much you aren't the prize I seek!"

"Fine, I never claimed to be, why don't you just let me go!"

"Aren't you curious about your father?"

Olivia was silent, of course she was but it was that curiosity that he fed off of. She tipped her head up willfully. "I don't think you really know anything about my father! If you did you would have showed it to me by now! It seems you can hardly wait to show your hand!"

This seemed to anger him she noted somewhat happily, anger was an emotion she could deal with, passive indifference and gleeful pride were not.

"But just last night you claimed you knew the plan! Don't tell me you've given up?" he questioned sarcastically.

"What if I have?"

"Then you aren't half the person I thought."

"If you have my father here… bring him to me,"

"Why should I?"

"Well obviously you don't like me giving up, so either you want me to meet him, or you just enjoy toying with me… I am leaning towards the latter. And I do not like to be toyed with."

Again like being controlled like a puppet on a sting Jack's face contorted into a snarl and eyes darkened with rage. A man quick to wrath, Olivia shrank back slightly.

"Don't touch her," a shadowy figure entered through the creaking door.

Olivia held her breath as the man stepped towards the light, towards her. Shivers of fear and anticipation creamed up her spine and goose bumps rose on her arms. Jack spun towards the man and hissed something Olivia couldn't make out.

"I'll take it from here Jack," the man answered. Jacked glared into the dark but left the room slamming the door.

"Olivia… Olivia how I am dreamed of this moment!" the voice said as she watched the darkened form sit the abandoned chair hovering the dark.

"Who are you? Are you the man who wrote me the letters?" she questioned not brave enough to approach. A dark laughter filled the room leaving Olivia queasy.

"So the questions begin. I knew you were a good detective, but this the first time I have experienced it myself! Bravo, you don't waste any time!"

"Please….are you my father…?" The question was more of a breath as Olivia exhaled sharply. Silence fell about with every pacing moment her heart beat harder, her pulse ringing in her ears.

"Do you really want to answer?"

"Yes…"

"Are you sure? You have pursued the man all your life, looking in every man's eyes hoping to find your own. In every face on the street you wondered if it was he… do you really want me to possibly end your search? I think that it has been the search that has spurred you on all these years, not the man. If I were to be the ends result would it disappoint… or perhaps confirm the fear that the darkness in me is at the center of you," the quiet but deep hard voice filled the room making tears spring to Olivia's eyes.

"If I were to be the man it would give you reason for that darkness you fear in is your own soul. It would confirm that fear you have that by genetics you are violent, controlling, power hungry, that there is a demon inside of that you can not deny for it is in your blood! I could answer the question you asked simply but you all ready know the answer… you are just afraid to answer it, to answer the riddle that is your life," the voice stood without letting Olivia get a glimpse at the man and exited.

The words shuttered through like a treacherous river, leaving her fallen on her knees caught in the rapids that is her own tortured soul.

_"When will we tell her the truth?"_

_"Soon, she has to come to first our the fight was in vain,"_

_"The riddles, please can we do without them, it makes my head hurt!"_

_"And you call me the simple one!"_

"I know the mistake we made," Sam stated as the slightly injured down trodden SVU/VCTF team sat in the ER of a local hospital.

"What?" Cragen was the first to respond.

"I don't know why I didn't see it before… We took the love expressed by Dawson as sexual. There was no reason for us to think other wise but now I am almost sure that was our pivotal mistake," she said seemingly far off.

"But how does that help us?" Munch asked dryly.

"I don't think that it someone from her school, I doubt he really has been where he would have been seen by her, he has watched her… since who knows when but he hasn't been obvious," Sam's eyes wondered as her mind conceived a picture of a dark room, one light, no windows… a metal door… tears… The picture was gone.

"She is somewhere in a basement… "she started but was interrupted by another flash. A bold, ornate building… flashing lights, a sign… she could almost read it but the picture went black.

"It's building with lights, lots of color, there was a sign… it said something like castle… or…" she put in. Elliot went ashen.

"Castle Paris… it's a sleazy night club a few miles from the parking lot…" he said softly hope starting to find him.

"Let's head out there!" Bailey exclaimed standing.

She knew the answer, oh she knew, it ripped her breath out of her, it tore her apart, but in the depths of her she knew.

She starred at the cold room eyes dry, all her tears cried all the fight drained, she was weary, she was tired and there was nothing for her to fight for any longer. Life was useless without a purpose, hers taken she succumb to defeat.

_"It's time, look at her, she is done, let's reveal the truth,"_

_They stood at the black and white monitor watching the cool empty eyes staring back._

"Ready for the grand finale?" Jack burst into the room door thrown open. Olivia lifted her head wordlessly.

"Olivia Benson…my brother Jeremy Dawson…. Your father!"

A tall man stepped into the light and Olivia gasped and felt dizzy. The search, the answer it had been found. She felt the last strength start to drain. Elliot was gone, her mother gone… her father found… what was left to strive for?

Police cars surrounded the building. Elliot sprang from the car gun drawn. A new fear was taking place of the newly found hope as the connection between himself and Olivia, the mental, emotional, beyond physical connection, started to fade. "Please Olivia… hold on… please angel… breathe again… just one breath at a time! I'm coming!" he whispered to the wind.

"The building is a go!" a FBI agent declared as Elliot, Cragen, John and Bailey prepared to enter a massive team behind them.

Dizzy and heart thudding she fell against the mattress trying to dampen paper dry lips. "Please Elliot… hurry…" she murmured deliriously eyes fluttering, mind fading in and out of awareness. Elliot couldn't rescue her… no one could.

"Why did we have to put that drug in the food? Was it really necessary?"

"You were never one to have fun! Loosen up brother…"

The voices faded as Olivia turned over wet salty tears sliding from her squeezed shut eyes.


	10. Almost Home

**TITLE:** Almost Home

**ATHOUR: **RaeAnne

**DISCLAIMER: **see chapter one

**A/N: **Hey, again sorry for the wait, I don't know what has kept me so long away from the story! This is the final chapter, except for an "epilogue". I do hope this ended okay; if I have left any unanswered questions please remind me, I tried to cover everything… I hope I did. I hope this ended well and has lived up to exceptions. Thank you all SO SO SO much for your support in this story, your feedback has been what has kept me writing, I'm afraid I'd given up a while ago. You guys have stuck it out from chapter one till now, you have made my first SVU (and Profiler for that matter) fanfiction a true success, a better one I could have hoped for ;-) Thank you again! RaeAnne ---(-@

**Chapter 10:**

**Almost Home**

**            _Olivia felt warmth flood over her as tears trickled down her cheeks. With eyes closed to indulged in the for a brief moment relief as she imagined arms lifted her up, holding her secure and safe. She moaned and rolled, but the arms held, the feeling was glorious. Soft words echoed in her ear, she didn't understand but was assured by them. She knew she should fight them, they couldn't be really keeping her safe…it couldn't be arms of shelter holding her. _**

_______________

            Elliot tore through the building a blinding fear and anger moving him past doors and barriers with no fear, no pain. 

            "Elliot! You are going to do more harm to her by giving Jack notice of your coming by shaking the whole building!" Cragen said angrily grabbing the younger man by the collar making him halt. The suspected basement was just few feet away and Elliot shook with pent up energy. 

            "Fine, I'm calm…" Elliot hissed tearing from the man's grip and heading for the large door.

            "Cover us," Bailey called as he and the captain high tailed behind Elliot.

            Elliot took the door with slightly more grace and awareness then he did with the rest of the building. Gun drawn and flash light in hand he moved down the stairs listening to for any signs of life. Quiet voices came from the bottom; a solid door seemed to muffle them beyond any understanding. With his chest heaving, hurting with every forced breath he waited for Bailey and Cragen to catch up. 

            Bailey and Cragen eyed the door silently for a mere second then held up a hand and began the count down.

            Three…two….one, the count down was made and the door was promptly kicked in with much fury. Jack, and Jeremy sat a small round table starring at them, just waiting it appeared. 

            "Gentleman…" Jack stood and bowed humbly as the mass of FBI, and NYPD surrounded them. Elliot charged the man, grabbing him by the throat and slamming him against the wall. 

            "You hurt? Huh? Did you touch her… so help me…" Elliot roared as he repeatedly threw him against the wall and choking the life from him. With the butt of his gun his beat the back of Jack's head cursing him with every angry ounce of hatred and fear for Olivia, until Bailey and Cragen pulled him off.

            "It's not worth it Elliot…" Bailey said hoarsely. It barely registered, but Elliot knew that of all the men in the room it was Bailey who knew his pain and had just as much reason to beat this man beyond recognition, so if he could control himself, then so could he. 

            "We've found her!" Fin cried exuberantly pointing to a bank of cameras on the back wall. Elliot rushed over as the others cuffed Jack and Jeremy. Fresh tears formed in his eyes as he saw the form lying on the mattress. He touched the black and white screen then turned to the team.

            "Where is this?" he demanded as he glanced around the room looking for an entrance. The group looked at him silent but one man pulled up a rug under the table where Jack and Jeremy were seated. A large trap door was the answer.

            "Get it open now!" Elliot cried franticly. They did just that a set of steps was found. Jack and Jeremy watched a shared arrogant smile plastered on their faces. Elliot gave one final look of disgust as he went down the stairs.

            The stairs ended at a small tunnel and at the end the large metal enforced door, door to Olivia's nightmare, and Elliot's most horrid fear.

 _______________

            "Olivia!" Elliot whispered as he saw her almost lifeless. His knees felt weak as he rushed to her. She was barely awake, feverish and shaking he hit knees by her and ran his hand over her forehead as he whispered words of relief.

            "Let's get her out of here," Cragen said emotion making his voice gravely, they would get her home. Two people came forward with a makeshift stretcher. 

            "No! I'll do it," Elliot said lifting her up in his arms. She moaned softly and tried to pulling away from him. She was fighting him, and that ripped him apart. "Shh, it's okay... I've got you now…" he said into her hair as he pressed his lips to her hot forehead, tears melting the anxiousness that had gripped his heart. 

            Police and FBI alike cleared a path for him as he carried her out of the hellish prison. The weight in his arms was assuring and as she relaxed in his arms his heart warmed. 

            "His palace of jewels and gold…" Sam remarked as she watched the ambulance pull away with Olivia inside…Elliot's profile in the small glass window. Her eyes fell and a slight tremor crept over her body, Olivia was safe, Jack and Jeremy were captured, yet her fear wasn't completely eased. 

_______________

            "She's going to all right…" a doctor appeared to Elliot, Cragen, Fin and Munch as they waited in the ER. They breathed a collective sigh of relief. 

            "When can we see her?" Elliot asked thankful the news received this ER visit was far better then the last time a loved one had been in here.

            "Soon they are moving her to a room right now. We have her sedated, her system has undergone some tremendous trauma and stress, she should well enough to talk by late morning," the doctor nodded to the SVU and left. 

            The group remained silent for a few minutes more, Cragen was the one to finally break it, "After we see she is okay for ourselves, I think we'll head back to station and make sure that Jack and Dawson get booked and nothing questionable happens."

            Elliot nodded then said "I want to stay here… I can't leave her alone… she has no one but me…" he hesitated studying his folded hands as he lifted his head, elbows resting on his knees. 

            "I know…. Stay here keep an eye on her," Cragen said laying a hand on Elliot's back trying to smile, but finding that his weariness had him falling short.

            "Thanks captain," Elliot whispered.

            "Hey Munch and I will go get you some coffee… maybe snacks… set you up for the night," Fin said trying to find something to say that would help.

_______________

            "We'll call you later and see how everything is going," Cragen said walking with Munch and Fin to the hospital room door. Elliot nodded but stayed in the chair next to Olivia's bed. 

            Cragen shook his head sadly as they left the room. 

            "Oh 'Livia," Elliot pushed the words past his tightening throat. "How did I let this happen?" He lifted her hand up and placed it against his cheek. Silent they sat there in the dim light, green lights on the machines, and the mossy gray light of the bed illuminated the room slightly. 

            Hours upon hours he sat there waiting for any sign that she was awakening, but was always disappointed. Sleepiness weighted itself on his eye lids and pressed down on his mind. He drifted trying to keep his eyes focused on her face, but it blurred and he laid his head on the bed, kissing her knuckles before slipping asleep.

_______________

            "Do you want a lawyer?" a detective at the SVU questioning room asked Jack as they sat. Jack just smiled slyly. Fin grew angry and cursed under his breath. They had been interrogating both Jack and Jeremy for five hours and they had said nothing! Nothing, it would have been more satisfying if he had even asked for a lawyer, but they said nothing!

            "Let me go in," Sam said softly as she, Bailey, and Cragen stood watching Fin and Munch questioning Jack.

            "Absolutely not!" Bailey said adamantly.

            "I am the one he wants, I am the one he will open up to! Let me get something! Bail, I know you don't want to put me at risk, but you will be right here…I am going," She said putting a hand on his arm as she went for interrogation room door. Bailey tensed but didn't stop her, husband and boss he was but he knew he wouldn't stop her if she wanted to do something.

            "Thank you detectives, I'll take over from here," Sam smiled as she entered. Fin and Munch looked surprised but after hesitating and giving an unsure look to the two way mirror they left.

            "Hello Jack," she said sitting at the other end of the table laying down a folder in front of her.

            "Hello Samantha…" Jack answered flashing a toothy smile. Sam had to keep herself from recoiling.

            "Shall we begin? Why were you stalking Detective Benson?" she said keeping her voice even and calm.

            "I wasn't," he shrugged.

            Sam didn't say anything but stood up and headed for the door.

            "Where are you going?" Jack exclaimed.

            Sam stopped at the door, hand on the handle. "This will never work, if you lie to me… or talk in riddles," she turned back. Jack lifted his shoulders in surrender. She retook her seat.

            "Okay answer my question,"

            "You don't know who Jeremy is do you?"

            "What did I say about riddles?"

            "Yes, but I can't answer questions when you don't ask the right ones. You should ask who Jeremy is first."

            "Fine, who is Jeremy Dawson?"

            "Oh you are going to be so amazed when I tell you! Do you think you can guess?"

            "I have no time for guessing, answer the question,"

            "Fine, get testy, you know I really don't like the way you are treating me, after all we've been through! But to answer you question Jeremy is Olivia's father! Isn't that just dandy! I could hardly believe it myself!"

            Sam swallowed hard and felt sick. She couldn't believe it; the physical resemblance was there now that she had the two put together. She tried to clear her mind and refocus.

            "It gets better, but we'll go into that later! Jeremy has been stalking Olivia since she born. He's a little off, if you know what I mean. Well Jer called me a few months ago and said he did something he shouldn't have… he had raped and killed a woman… a woman who went to school with Olivia… well you know me… I came as soon as I could and gave him hand. I must confess though my intentions weren't all honorable."

            "That doesn't surprise me, so why did you come help him?"

            "Because he asked me to,"

            "How do you know him?"

            "You really don't know that either?" he laughed.

            "What is that supposed to mean?"

            "Jeremy is my brother! He needed by help… but then I discovered that there was something I could get from the deal…"

            Sam tried to comprehend it all, but her head was swimming.

            "I thought you would get that… but once I got here, it didn't take long to realize that we could make this into something that would benefit me. I made the plans to get you here! Everything about Cupid, it was Jeremy's idea, I mean he calls Olivia his butterfly, kind of twisted, but I just played it up. I thought it was rather brilliant! I mean it got you away from Chloe… then I found out you were pregnant… everything just came together!" Jack smiled.

            Sam felt her heart about stop and the words settled around her like a moonless night. "Are you saying that you have Chloe?" she breathed the questioned motionless.

            "Indeed…." he grinned. The second the word was out of his mouth the door burst open, Bailey coming in eyes like fire and a temper to match.

            "Where is she?" he demanded barely holding back his temper.

            "You didn't fill your end of the bargain! I know I can't have the baby now, but I want it!" Jack said not backing away as Bailey got his face.

            "Let me see my brother, then maybe I will answer you question… but be nice, we wouldn't want little Chloe to be hurt now would we?" Jack grinned arching an eye brow. Bailey clenched his fists in anger, and to keep himself from beating the man to bloody pulp.

_______________

            "He has my daughter… oh Bailey… what are we going to do?" Sam whispered feeling herself begin to spin out of control.

            "We'll figure it out soon, it will be okay…" he answered pulling her into a tight embrace.

            "Talk to Jeremy, he has lost Olivia, the one thing that he loves… we can get to him! He's a father who has been searching and watching his daughter all her life. I don't think Jack put a parental emotion into the mix when he thought through his plan! Play one brother against the other, something will snap…" George Haung said.

            "It's a long shot, but worth a try," John said heading off to do the questioning.

            "We can do this, we will get her home!" Bailey assured.

_______________

_            They tell me I'm a father; they tell me I have the keys to stopping this madness. What do they know? Do they know the monster that dwells inside of me? Have they watched their daughter grow up from a distance? Do they know the torment I have gone through? They try to get to turn on my brother… I know I hold the key to that young girl's salvation, but why should I help them?_

_            Don't act so high and might Mr. Malone that infuriates me! I will give you the information you need, I am no monster! But please don't insult me!_

_            Hours have passed, those hours have turned to days, I can't figure out where I am… a jail cell I have no doubt, but the rest is a blur. The questions they never end, like the voices in my head that I can't quiet they continue. The affair with Kathy… part of my brother's wonderful plan. Oh why play ignorant you know that you went along and helped plan everything! Don't play innocent!_

_            All I wanted was to get close to my butterfly! All I wanted was to please her, make her know me… maybe love me! But I know that is out of the question. Oh the pain it cripples me! Stop yelling… I just want the yelling to stop!_

_            In this small room the one mirror… and a chair… they are watching me… I feel their eyes._

_            She's there… I feel her, my butterfly is near. I walk to the mirror and lift my hand, the mirror is cool and my heart pounds as I feel her near. I close my eyes._

_            The silence, the emptiness, the yelling… I must make it stop! I grab the chair, unsure what I am going to do with it, then it dawns on me. I hurl it at the mirror; let me get to my butterfly! The shaking sends tremors down my minds and with no connection to my butterfly I sink to my knees and with one short loud sole cleansing scream surrender to the fate which I know is mine._

_______________

            "My father…" Olivia whispered standing on the other side of the mirror tears forming but not falling. She leaned heavily on Elliot as her head felt light. The tormented man starring back at her was her flesh, her blood, her nightmare and her worst fears manifesting themselves in the one man who she thought would be the one who loved her no matter what, her father. But her childish hopes became a stark contrast when she looked at the murder in front of her.

            He came to the glass and she took a step back. The hand on the mirror drew her in, the desperation and sadness in his eyes brought her forward. She placed her hand on against the pane, tears coming down as the larger one clenched in a fist.

            A father…and his daughter blood binding them forever. She started shaking and her tears became sobs which she hid in Elliot's shoulder.

            They exited the room never looking back

_______________

            "Mom! Bailey!" Chloe cried running to meet them.

            She was standing on a vacant sidewalk all alone tears rolling down her cheeks, dirt smudging her face.

            "Oh baby!" Sam cried pulling her into the safety of her reach. Bailey wrapped his girls into his embrace.

            "It's okay now… oh its okay now, Jack will never hurt us again…" Sam cried tears of joy and relief flowing. She brushed Chloe's hair back and kissed her forehead; keeping one arm around her then wrapped the other around Bailey as they headed toward the ambulance.

_______________

            Of fathers and daughters, husbands and wives, friends and lovers, hopes and fears, death and life, friendship and salvation, torment and deceit. Life's many turns, despairs and joys. Each action you take shapes your life, the blood flowing in your veins keeps you alive, but the hands that help you along the way shape who you are. The people in your life are what make you. Take comfort in the ones you love, in the ones who love you. 


	11. Epilogue: In My Daughters Eyes

**TITLE: **Epilogue: In My Daughter's Eyes

**AUTHOR: **RaeAnne

**DISCLAIMER:** See chapter one, In My Daughters Eyes by Martina McBride

**A/N: **Hey all :-) This is it, the end… I had this written for almost as long as I had the first chapter, I've just delayed in typing for some reason. This is not any major plot point, or really wonderful, it was just how I would like to picture our couples (Olivia and Elliot, and Sam and Bailey) ending up. I hope you enjoy, and have enjoyed my story. Thank you so much for spending your time reading and leaving such wonderful reviews for my fanfic. RaeAnne ---(-

**lilmamaday:** Oh I knew someone would catch that grin In truth I wasn't sure when I wrote it. I would like to think that he would have, but when I wrote it I wasn't sure… I did know if I wanted to let Jeremy's character to soften, I wanted more of a tormented mind in which no certain answer could be obtained. Though if he didn't I'm not sure I could explain how they found her… does that make any sense? To answer simply, yes he did give up her location. There now I have made up my mind. :-)

**Epilogue:**

**In My Daughter's Eyes**

"Olivia…" Elliot spoke the name softly. Olivia tried to open her eyes but she was so tired.

"Mmm, Elliot..." her dry lips formed his name.

"Hey there angel, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"How do you think I am feeling… 36 hours of near hell…I feel peachy," she groaned trying to sit up. Elliot softly laughed as he lowered the hospital bed railing with one hand then steadied her with the same hand.

"It's not funny!" she retorted eyeing him. Elliot looked at her with an almost fearful smile, he been through this before but he still felt that small ounce of fear as he hovered over her.

"Careful, careful!" he cautioned.

"I'm not glass honey, I won't break," she said groggily.

He half smiled as he replied, "I know."

_Jr. High Graduation_

"And now ladies and gentleman our Junior High class valedictorian, Miss Chloe Waters Malone," the Jr. High principal announced and the small auditorium erupted with applause, none as loud as her mother and adoptive father.

"Parents, friends, class mates, today is a very special day. Not because we finally graduate Jr. High, but because like every day it is fresh and new. We all have an opportunity to do something great, something world changing! And this chance makes itself new each and every day. Two very important people taught me that, my parents. They are the inspiration to me, they have taught me to take each day as a special challenge, to take every once I can from every moment because we don't if we'll have another one. But even more then that they taught me to give back. Fellow class mates as we say goodbye to today and to Jr. High lets not just look back at the awesome and not so awesome times we have had, but at tomorrow, let's look toward what we can not only learn from the weeks, months, years to come but what we can add to it! The people we are today we'll never be again, so lets challenge ourselves, let's challenge our world! Thank you..." Chloe smiled broadly as she stepped from the podium amidst thundering applause.

"That was your big sister Emily… pretty cool huh?" Bailey spoke softly and proudly to his year and half old daughter.

"Did I do okay?" Chloe asked anxiously as she rushed to Sam and Bailey who were seated in the front row.

"You were wonderful Chloe… just wonderful!" Sam cried pulling her into a fierce tug sticky tears dampening Chloe's hair.

"Mom!" Chloe protested pulling slightly away, a smile curving her lips despite her objection.

"Oh give your mom a break… her baby is growing up!" Bailey laughed.

Chloe rolled her eyes playfully, "Okay... I love you too mom," she grinned and returned the hug. "And I love you too," Chloe grinned at Bailey hugging him awkwardly as he held Emily, who Chloe kissed on the top of head also.

Sam took Emily and Bailey hugged Chloe again. "Your father would have been so, so, very proud of you…" Bailey whispered into her hair with a pang of hurt and regret tugging at his heart.

"I hope so… but I know that my _dad _is," she smiled into his dark eyes where she found tears glistening,

"I love you Chloe," he said voice husky as he wrapped an arm around Sam and Chloe as they left the auditorium.

"She has your eyes…" Elliot smiled brushing his hand over his daughter's velvety head as he held her protectively in his arms

"Yeah… maybe, but she looks like her daddy," Olivia sighed happily.

"Poor kid," he laughed handing her back to Olivia who had sat up ready to feed her. The scene of mother and daughter gripped Elliot's heart and he felt a love wash over him that he thought would drown him.

"I love you Olivia Stabler… I hope you know that," he smiled as he leaned in and kissed the top of her head.

"I know… I love you too… and this precious gift that I still can't believe is ours…" she said tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Knock, knock…" a quiet voice came from the door.

"Come in!" Olivia called joyously. Maureen, Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie entered arms loaded with teddy bears, balloons and flowers.

"Come meet your new sister…" Elliot smiled beckoning them in.

Olivia looked at the people around her and she knew she was blessed, not only did she have this wonderful baby to love… but four other wonderful children, and an amazing husband.

So far away were the thoughts of Jack… Jeremy… of the rape that had brought Olivia into the world, in their place was healing, though there were scars, they are a sign of battles won, of wars won. Healing and love were in the place of fear and doubt, and in these hearts there was a collective sense of salvation. The source of that salvation? Their children… their daughters.


End file.
